it's the opposite of gross there were shucking birds singing it was so opposite its only been a couple of times now and we skipped all the boring vanilla stuff and it was bugging AMAZING i'm gonna go buy a ring and marry him tomorrow morning
oh my god you are so drunk right now. i'm saving these texts to show you in the morning when you inevitably delete this conversation when you're sober. and i'm not sure i want to ask about what you two have done so far really but at least you're happy dude.
he iiiis he's got those bloody big doe eyes he's really cute anything i told em would probably scare him half to death yeah iunno why though it's bloody perfect slap my arse and call me a sub it's the best
he is the most adorable creature on the planet. i want to put flowers in his hair like some hippie courtship it's disgusting. i'll just cook food for him instead and lure him into my bed that way.
jesus christ brother. add that to yet another thing i did not need to imagine. but will now picture every time i look at alby. along with his dick since i've gotten that one in graphic detail, too.
you can do it!!!!!!!! he'd probably like that the flowers not the bed luring but the bed luring too, yeah maybe with flowers?? you figure that out that's on you mate
*min* his dick is amazing it's like a bloody religious experience if ic ould just stay in bed with him for the rest of my life i'd be happy forever
i bet you anything if i included food and flowers in his introduction to bdsm lite he would be into it. i just have to not scare him with big, adult words and he should be fine.
yes you've told me before dude. in, again, graphic detail. i need a safe word to use in tmi conversations with you. but if you build a little flap in his bedroom door i'll cook for you and push food into the room. like you're in prison but it's his sex dungeon instead.
yes that's brill just dont start dirty talking thatwouldnt go well tommy dirty talking sounds hiiiiiiiiiiiilarious
but its AMAZING theres not enough detail sometimes i swear he fixes my buggin limp
yes this is why i love you that sounds perfect maybe i'll bring that up!!! when i move into his big fanfcy house with his big bloody cars and his big bloody kitchen and his big perfect dick and then i can be in heaven forever
i think he'd die. like he would legitimately just expire right there. and not cause of the little death or w/e it is in french.
endorphins, mate. also sex bliss but that, mostly.
is sassafras too much of a mouthful for a tmi safe word? probably is. you pretty much already live with him i doubt it'd take much longer to turn his house into a big kinky sex dungeon for two.
le petit mort!! yeahhhh thatd be bad we like tommy alive he's much cuter that way but maybe try it i bet he'd like the flowers and the food cause you know he likes you he bloody loves you loooooooooooooves you
its either that or i cant walk at all (either one's brill i don't mind)
sassasfr i cant even spell that right now well the first time we did it was in the kitchen over the table so shuck yeah the whole house's an option it was great cause then it was the kitchen and then the floor and then the bedroom and then the shower
yeah that. i think he loves my food more than he loves me, but yk this is what happens when you cook for people.
don't know why you'd want to even try to walk after. falling down is a very real risk when you come your brains out.
if i ever cook there i am disinfecting the entire kitchen. i swear to god. but not really all that shocked at all. did you get rug burn? i feel like you would be into rug burn.
he bought you all that stuff cause he likes u i'm telling you now i'm calling it
i don't usually he usually carries me because hes made of HUSBAND MATERIAL and then we take a bath after and sometimes we fuck in the bath and it's GREAT
you probably should yes yesssssssssss it was great i have bruises min *bruises*
did i tell you what he said to me? when he like refurbished his entire kitchen based on things i talked about? he wanted to make sure i was happy so i would stay. *i'm* gonna marry *him*.
he's made of solid muscle. like a small ww2 era tank or something.
you're so gross. but happy. so i'm happy for you. even if i could talk about your sex life as if i'm the one having sex with you two.
aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that's so cute minnie :D invite me to the wedding ok
his ass is made of solid muscle too it's perfect to grab onto everything is perfect i want to lick his arms
yeahhh i think everything's lovin great rn you're really great too and tommy's great but you're great especially cause you're my brother and i love you and i love alby too it's only been two days but i love him and we're gonna get married and adopt a bunch of adorable half his dna babies
you're my best man you dumb shank. so don't worry newtums you'll be right there to make sure no one does anything stupid.
i want to bounce a coin off of his ass tbh. like i bet i could get the best distance off him.
i love you too, newt. and i'm really glad that we both decided to become personal chefs. cause you wound up meeting someone that makes you really happy. and bangs you blissful. and makes you want a million kids. it's too bad you two can't combine dna or something cause you'd have the most gorgeous babies ever. your lack of ass would balance out his badonk but they'd be beautiful curly haired little loafs.
youre mine too when we get married tomorrow get your suit ready its hapening iw ant to marry him so bad what if he chnages his mind though i mean im good in the sack but not so much othewise
youre on!!
yeahhhhhhhh cute babies i love babies theyd be adorable albys the best and i love him and all of him and all of hsi cute babeis im gonna non biologcally have also my arse is just fine aly likes it a lot i learned that yesterday
shut up or i'll text ben and have him tell me where you are so i can punch you in the head. no sad sacks. those aren't allowed you dumb shank. cmon man think about it he's madly in love with you. and you're more than just your prowess in bed.
gonna do it man we're gonna bounce quarters off that.
i know you love babies. you love kids in general though so i mean. you would have a litter of babies and they would all be perfect even if you had them through both of your surrogating. which i am going to think about more than alby liking your ass.
i hope youre right ive neeeverrr ever ever ever ever dated someone like thsi before ever ever i love him i ahvent told him yet i shold i do i love him so much he makes me happy when i dont want to be happy
you and tommy too!!!! woodland babies with good hair
yeah i know you haven't. but he's good for you, and you need to be happy cause that's important. like your happiness is the most important thing to me? i love tommy but i love you happy more, if that tells you anything. and maybe you should tell him. you haven't been dating that long but it's like you've known each other for a while and you were basically courting each other the entire time. so you should definitely tell him. like when you're sober so that you know you're telling him and he knows you mean it.
dude i should not reproduce. babies are terrifying i would break them and tommy would divorce me.
okay i will i dont ever wanna leave what if i scerw up and get fired?
i love you happy too you and tommy are gonna bhappy i know it imean he got you a motorcycle that strue love even if youre gnna die using it if youre not careful please bec areful i dont wanna live without you :(
nooooo you should i want to godparent them youd be an wesome dad kids love you
you're not gonna screw up and get fired. if anything you'll screw and get a promotion it's fine.
he got a motorcycle because he's crazy i still don't know what to do with him. i'm not gonna die tho it'll be ok. i'll be as careful as i can, promise. cause i don't wanna live without you, either.
[ Even though I almost did. ]
i love kids! kids are great. kids are less terrifying than babies. babies are scarier than teenagers, fact of life. if i could just skip the baby process that would be great. but i dunno if tommy wants kids at all, let alone with me or let alone as babies.
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its only been a couple of times now and we skipped all the boring vanilla stuff and it was bugging AMAZING
i'm gonna go buy a ring and marry him tomorrow morning
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i'm saving these texts to show you in the morning when you inevitably delete this conversation when you're sober.
and i'm not sure i want to ask about what you two have done so far really but at least you're happy dude.
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figured i shouldnt tell them so i'm bloody responsible
you already know me
[ newt what. ]
he asked me if i had a safe word A SAFE WORD, MINHO, A BLOODY SAFE WORD
1/2
not ridiculously traumatizing.
but mostly hilarious.
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*do* you have a safe word?
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of course everyone should have one
even you, min
but maybe not, because tommy's shucking lame
i didn't use it much though ;) ;) ;) ;)
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although i mean i could probably propose it to him.
baby steps.
oh my god.
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he's really cute
anything i told em would probably scare him half to death yeah
iunno why though it's bloody perfect
slap my arse and call me a sub it's the best
i told you huSBAND MATERIAL
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i want to put flowers in his hair like some hippie courtship it's disgusting.
i'll just cook food for him instead and lure him into my bed that way.
jesus christ brother.
add that to yet another thing i did not need to imagine.
but will now picture every time i look at alby.
along with his dick since i've gotten that one in graphic detail, too.
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he'd probably like that
the flowers
not the bed luring
but the bed luring too, yeah
maybe with flowers?? you figure that out that's on you mate
*min* his dick is amazing
it's like a bloody religious experience
if ic ould just stay in bed with him for the rest of my life i'd be happy forever
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i just have to not scare him with big, adult words and he should be fine.
yes you've told me before dude.
in, again, graphic detail.
i need a safe word to use in tmi conversations with you.
but if you build a little flap in his bedroom door i'll cook for you and push food into the room.
like you're in prison but it's his sex dungeon instead.
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just dont start dirty talking thatwouldnt go well
tommy dirty talking sounds hiiiiiiiiiiiilarious
but its AMAZING theres not enough detail
sometimes i swear he fixes my buggin limp
yes this is why i love you
that sounds perfect maybe i'll bring that up!!!
when i move into his big fanfcy house with his big bloody cars and his big bloody kitchen and his big perfect dick and then i can be in heaven forever
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like he would legitimately just expire right there.
and not cause of the little death or w/e it is in french.
endorphins, mate.
also sex bliss but that, mostly.
is sassafras too much of a mouthful for a tmi safe word?
probably is.
you pretty much already live with him i doubt it'd take much longer to turn his house into a big kinky sex dungeon for two.
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yeahhhh thatd be bad we like tommy alive he's much cuter that way
but maybe try it i bet he'd like the flowers
and the food cause you know he likes you
he bloody loves you
loooooooooooooves you
its either that or i cant walk at all
(either one's brill i don't mind)
sassasfr
i cant even spell that right now
well the first time we did it was in the kitchen over the table so shuck yeah the whole house's an option
it was great cause then it was the kitchen and then the floor
and then the bedroom
and then the shower
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i think he loves my food more than he loves me, but yk this is what happens when you cook for people.
don't know why you'd want to even try to walk after.
falling down is a very real risk when you come your brains out.
if i ever cook there i am disinfecting the entire kitchen.
i swear to god.
but not
really
all that shocked at all.
did you get rug burn?
i feel like you would be into rug burn.
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i'm telling you now
i'm calling it
i don't usually
he usually carries me because hes made of HUSBAND MATERIAL
and then we take a bath after and sometimes we fuck in the bath and it's GREAT
you probably should
yes
yesssssssssss
it was great
i have bruises min *bruises*
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when he like refurbished his entire kitchen based on things i talked about?
he wanted to make sure i was happy so i would stay.
*i'm* gonna marry *him*.
he's made of solid muscle.
like a small ww2 era tank or something.
you're so gross.
but happy.
so i'm happy for you.
even if i could talk about your sex life as if i'm the one having sex with you two.
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that's so cute minnie
:D
invite me to the wedding ok
his ass is made of solid muscle too
it's perfect to grab onto
everything is perfect
i want to lick his arms
yeahhh i think
everything's lovin great rn
you're really great too
and tommy's great
but you're great especially cause you're my brother and i love you
and i love alby too
it's only been two days but i love him and we're gonna get married and adopt a bunch of adorable half his dna babies
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so don't worry newtums you'll be right there to make sure no one does anything stupid.
i want to bounce a coin off of his ass tbh.
like i bet i could get the best distance off him.
i love you too, newt.
and i'm really glad that we both decided to become personal chefs.
cause you wound up meeting someone that makes you really happy.
and bangs you blissful.
and makes you want a million kids.
it's too bad you two can't combine dna or something cause you'd have the most gorgeous babies ever.
your lack of ass would balance out his badonk but they'd be beautiful curly haired little loafs.
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when we get married tomorrow
get your suit ready its hapening iw ant to marry him so bad
what if he chnages his mind though i mean
im good in the sack but not so much othewise
youre on!!
yeahhhhhhhh cute babies
i love babies
theyd be adorable
albys the best and i love him and all of him and all of hsi cute babeis im gonna non biologcally have
also my arse is just fine
aly likes it
a lot
i learned that yesterday
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so i can punch you in the head.
no sad sacks.
those aren't allowed you dumb shank.
cmon man think about it he's madly in love with you.
and you're more than just your prowess in bed.
gonna do it man we're gonna bounce quarters off that.
i know you love babies.
you love kids in general though so i mean.
you would have a litter of babies and they would all be perfect even if you had them through both of your surrogating.
which i am going to think about more than alby liking your ass.
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ive neeeverrr ever ever ever ever dated someone like thsi before
ever ever
i love him
i ahvent told him yet i shold i do
i love him so much he makes me happy when i dont want to be happy
you and tommy too!!!!
woodland babies with good hair
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i know you haven't.
but he's good for you, and you need to be happy cause that's important.
like your happiness is the most important thing to me?
i love tommy but i love you happy more, if that tells you anything.
and maybe you should tell him.
you haven't been dating that long but it's like
you've known each other for a while and you were basically courting each other the entire time.
so you should definitely tell him.
like when you're sober so that you know you're telling him and he knows you mean it.
dude i should not reproduce.
babies are terrifying i would break them and tommy would divorce me.
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i will
i dont ever wanna leave what if i scerw up and get fired?
i love you happy too
you and tommy are gonna bhappy i know it
imean he got you a motorcycle that strue love
even if youre gnna die using it if youre not careful
please bec areful
i dont wanna live without you :(
nooooo you should i want to godparent them
youd be an wesome dad kids love you
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if anything you'll screw and get a promotion it's fine.
he got a motorcycle because he's crazy i still don't know what to do with him.
i'm not gonna die tho it'll be ok.
i'll be as careful as i can, promise.
cause i don't wanna live without you, either.
[ Even though I almost did. ]
i love kids! kids are great.
kids are less terrifying than babies.
babies are scarier than teenagers, fact of life.
if i could just skip the baby process that would be great.
but i dunno if tommy wants kids at all, let alone with me or let alone as babies.