if i was not myself, and you were someone else

[dentistry]

[ With winter break fast approaching for the grade schoolers seated in front of her, Tatiana could only smile wide at their anxiousness to get out of the classroom and bound through the snow. There was no way she could blame them, of course; while she thrilled at the life that bloomed in spring, there was just something about winter that, well. Warmed her. It was a silly thing that she never spoke of with anyone else, but she felt it every time the snow fell.

As it was, then. She looked out the window with a soft smile, hands folded behind her back as her thoughts rushed a mile a minute. All the snowmen, and snow angels, the snowball fights and sledding and ice skating and hot chocolate and holly. So much to do in one season, it was almost impossible to decide where one should start.

Clasping her hands together, she addressed the group of young children wriggling in their seats. ]

All right, everyone! The bell's going to ring very soon, but I just wanted to wish you all a fantastic winter break! Happy Holidays! Make sure you all bundle up, you don't want the cold nipping along after you, do you?

Comments

[dentistry]

It feels like I did.

[ She watches as the ice spreads across the floor, hands still held close to her body as she thinks over his words. Something in her chest aches with that thought, beyond more than just missing someone you used to care about. Because she knows him. She believes in him, and has for a very long time, but there's just a Jack Frost shaped void in her memories. Which already feel scattered, something that's always bothered her.

Without looking up from the floor, where she's studying the pattern of ice, she reaches out for him again. This time, slender fingers curl in the material of his hoodie, grasping loosely at first before tightening when it registers that he's really there.

She doesn't want him to go again. ]

[bringsthefrost]

[He jerks a little when she takes hold of his hoodie, shoulders twitching slightly. He's not used to people like that. Even the kids who can see him are always afraid of him (something he figured Pitch had a hand in). Hesitantly, he brings his free hand up to place it on her shoulder, gently brushing his thumb over the curve before he manages to speak, licking his lips as he lets out a shuddering breath.]

Tooth...

[dentistry]

I don't remember you, Jack.

[ Her shoulders scrunch a little beneath his touch, but she doesn't pull away from him. Though she tries to remain steady, Tooth can't help the way her voice softens, almost shakes a little as it really hits her with the familiar chill under her fingers and against her shoulder. Something happened-- to her, to them-- to cause this, and it hurts. ]

Why don't I remember you?

[bringsthefrost]

[The chill thrums against her like a steady heartbeat at her words, his fingers curling around her shoulder before he let go, shifting his hand back into the pocket of his hoodie as his other tightened around the length of his staff. If he let her remember, if he let her regain her memories, would she hate him? Would she be angry with him?

His fingers curled around the curve of the casing in his pocket before he lifted his staff to shoulder it, looking down at the floor between them.]

I'm sorry.

[dentistry]

[ Everything about this is so wrong, so very, very wrong, and her heart aches with it as she tries to keep up with her thoughts and emotions. But the gentle, if cold, thrum is comforting, and she can't help but lean into it until it leaves her. But as it does, she leans a little closer, as if following a pull that's caused by Jack's simple presence, the frosty air around him.

Reaching her free hand up, she brings it up to touch his cheek gently, a sad smile curling at the corners of her mouth. ]

Whatever it was, you're here now. You came back.

[bringsthefrost]

[His breath hitches in his throat when she reaches up to touch his cheek, staring down at her, a little fright in his eyes when she leans in closer, as though her touch will burn him. He reaches up to cup his hand around Tooth's, but the small jar at the edge of his pocket is enough for the baby teeth case to fall out and clatter to the floor.]

[dentistry]

[ Though she hears the clatter of the case, sees a familiar flash of gold at the corner of her vision, her focus is on Jack. Her eyes search his face again, catching that fright and every little shift in his expression from the touch. A part of her is almost afraid that she will burn him, as she feels that cold under her fingertips. But it's so alive, and it's Jack, and he looks so lost.

She releases his hoodie, slips her hand out from beneath his, if only so she can bring her arms up to hook them around his neck and pull him into a tight hug. ]

[bringsthefrost]

[When her arms go around his neck, it's almost like the whole world stops. His eyes go wide, his staff following the case to the floor when it slips from his fingers. He doesn't know what to do, though that's hardly anything new. He probably feels like death itself to her, with how cold he is.

Slowly, reaching up, he places his hands on the small of her back, burying his face against her shoulder, breathing in her scent. Tooth is probably the one Guardian he's missed the most, and some part inside of him aches.]

[dentistry]

[ The press of his body against hers chills her to the bone, combined with the window having been open the entire time, but she doesn't pull away. Because he needs this-- she needs this-- and even with the way she wants to shiver, it's all familiar. It feels a little off, as if it's almost too cold, but that doesn't make sense.

Then again, a lot of the feelings that strike her make so very little sense.

Tucking her face into his shoulder in return, she brings a hand up to settle at the back of his head gently. It's just as cold, of course, but the softness feels like such a contrast to her. ]

It's okay, Jack.

[bringsthefrost]

[He feels like crying. How can she say it's okay when she doesn't even remember what happened to her? His fingers clench in her shirt and he feels weak at the knees, feeling as though he should have just fled from the window when she first laid eyes on him. Jack bites his lip and shakes his head, even as all he wants to do is disappear through the floor.]

It's not okay.

[dentistry]

It will be.

[ Everything hurts, from her head to her heart, to where she's holding on tight to everything that embodies winter. But she doesn't want to let go, because this is what's always warmed her about winter, this connection that she lost and doesn't want to let go of again. She feels like she needs to pull back, to look at him, but she can't make herself do it yet.

Tooth curls her fingers into his hair carefully instead, her other hand gripping at the back of his sweatshirt. ]

You just have to believe it will be.

[bringsthefrost]

[It hurts to remember that he was the one who did this to her, because he thought Pitch could offer him a path other than becoming a Guardian, because he thought they were the same. It became painfully obvious afterwards that they were different. So very, very different. But by then it was too late.

Jack pulls himself away from her a little, finding himself a bit overwhelmed by everything. Summoning a chilling wind, he used it to pick up the baby teeth case from the floor, wrapping his fingers around it and lifting it up to show her.]

This is yours.

[dentistry]

[ Succumbing to nightmares can sometimes be the easiest path in life, rather than fighting them. Even now, going by a foreign yet similar name, Tooth knows this in her bones.

She looks up at him as he pulls away from her, dropping her hand from the back of his head to his shoulder as the wind brings up the case. There's something about seeing it, something that brightens her eyes in familiarity and relief. Tentatively, she reaches to take it from him in both hands, standing close to him still as she traces her fingertips across the flat, smooth surface at the top of it. ]

This is...

[bringsthefrost]

I wasn't supposed to give them to you.

[He reaches to cup his hands around hers, around the casing, his milky white fingers encompassing her own tiny ones. He lets out a small breath, looking down at the cylindrical box between them before looking back at her, watching her face go through the motions.]

The kids need you to remember. [A pause before he adds quietly;] I need you to remember.

[dentistry]

[ A laugh escapes her, quick and breathless and a little watery at his words. These are important, something that's been gone from her life for so long. And now here they are, with so much weight supported in her delicate fingers, in his hands.

Her eyes lift to him for a moment, before back down to the cylinder they hold. Without even second guessing whether what she's doing is correct or not, she presses her fingertips against the center of the design, breathing in sharply as it opens up.

And in the light, everything comes flying back. Memories of childhood, of an old home with a happy family and the friends that surrounded her. Of flights, of fights. Of the children she visited, leaving trinkets and baubles for in exchange for something to remind them of the joy they once had in their times of need.

Of being chosen. Of the Guardians. Her friends, her new family.

Of Jack. Pitch.

She closes her eyes tightly, head bowing forward as one hand raises to cover her mouth to try and hold back tears. ]

[bringsthefrost]

[He knows when she places her hand to her mouth that she remembers. It's not hard to tell. Jack lets his hands fall from hers, picking up his staff and holding it close to him. He stayed quiet, letting her get used to the feeling of remembering everything, so many memories that she would have forgotten, of being a Guardian, even of her past before that.

He doesn't say anything, too afraid of what she might say should he speak.]

[dentistry]

[ Shoulders shaking a little as she tries to keep the well of emotions and memories from flooding over, she takes a deep breath, clutching the container to her chest. It's too much at once, too much of what was missing and now her head spins with it. But she swallows it down, even as she can feel the tears welling in her eyes. Nicholas, and Bunnymund... Sandy, even, the oldest of them all. All of them, gone.

Everything aches with the knowledge of Jack's betrayal, but instead of lash out at him, or push him away, or rebuke him for what he'd done, she steps in a little closer.

Her forehead rests at his collar, and she lowers her hand from her mouth to curl into his hoodie again. ]

Why?

[bringsthefrost]

[He draws his staff close, clutching it close to his chest as he waits. What for he doesn't know. Part of him wants her to react, to lash out, but when she asks the very question he'd been hoping she wouldn't say, he closed his eyes and looks away, wondering why she was staying close to him.]

You don't know what it's like, living three hundred years and nobody seeing you even though you're right there.

[dentistry]

But siding with him...

[ She bites her lip, fisting her hand in the cold material beneath it. There's nothing she can really do to stop him from leaving, if he really wanted to. Even with her memories, no one believes in her. The Guardians are, essentially, disbanded. She's practically human, and it's so foreign to her despite having lived that way since she lost her memories. She has no strength to stand in his way.

But she holds on anyways. ]

Jack, if they believe in you now, if they see you now, it's not for who you really are. It's because they're afraid.

[bringsthefrost]

I know.

[Oh Jack knows. He knows by the way kids look at him, the wonder and fear in their eyes. It's not the same joy he used to see on their faces, and instead of laughter they scream when they feel the frosty air. Like he was a monster from their darkest nightmares.]

I used to think it wouldn't matter if they feared me. [He opens his eyes.] I was wrong.

[dentistry]

No matter what loneliness did to you, you care about them.

[ The ache Tooth feels now is for him, for what he must've gone through alone. Looking up at him again finally, eyes wet and wide and right again, bright violet despite the pain in them, she presses the cylinder case against his chest. Over his heart. ]

You care. You found me again, and you brought me this. You helped me remember, despite everything. [ Her jaw sets, and her brow furrows. ] So I'm going to help you now.

[bringsthefrost]

[He swallowed deeply when he hears those words, lips quirking into a small smile. He can see in her eyes that she's back, that she means what she said about helping him. They had a lot to do. North, Bunny, Sandy...they needed to restore the other Guardians before they could do anything about Pitch.]

Thank you.

[dentistry]

Friends help each other, regardless of what happens.

[ Her determination doesn't leave her, but she does smile up at him, releasing his hoodie so she can touch his face again with a small hand. Thumb sweeping over the curve of his cheek, as if he's the one that looks like he's on the verge of tears, she shakes her head. ]

I remember you, Jack Frost. And I will always believe in you.

[bringsthefrost]

[Jack paused when she said that, a chuckle leaving his throat as he reached up to take the hand near his cheek. It was...nice...being believed in. Being believed in in a way that didn't involve fear.]

I guess that makes three of us...well...two and a half.

[dentistry]

Two and a half..?

[ Her confusion is obvious, brow furrowing for another reason entirely now as she looks up at him. Of course there's the two of them, but who would count as half? Hopefully not a child, they counted for far more than that.

Did one of the other Guardians survive in some way? Like she had? ]