[ well, that's out, at least. but it's still not really what he wants to say, and the next part is harder. so he keeps his gaze locked stubbornly on souji's feet, because if he looks up and catches his partner's expression, he'll lose his nerve for sure. ]
But I don't -- [ the words pile up in his throat like a traffic accident, all blaring horns and screeching brakes. and he chokes on them, struggles to swallow down the kneejerk backpedal that tries to pour up into the place of what he wants to say. there's a very real urge to back away from all of this, to run, because it's terrifying (even if it is souji). turning the possibility of it over in his head was so much easier when he was alone, staring up at his bedroom ceiling in the dark and letting himself imagine what it might be like.
to date souji. to hold his hand. to even kiss him, maybe, and not care if he was a guy because he was souji, and that's what really mattered. ]
I, uh. [ and he chokes out a laugh, reaching up to rub at the nape of his neck. ] Damn, talk about an uncool delivery, huh?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
But I don't -- [ the words pile up in his throat like a traffic accident, all blaring horns and screeching brakes. and he chokes on them, struggles to swallow down the kneejerk backpedal that tries to pour up into the place of what he wants to say. there's a very real urge to back away from all of this, to run, because it's terrifying (even if it is souji). turning the possibility of it over in his head was so much easier when he was alone, staring up at his bedroom ceiling in the dark and letting himself imagine what it might be like.
to date souji. to hold his hand. to even kiss him, maybe, and not care if he was a guy because he was souji, and that's what really mattered. ]
I, uh. [ and he chokes out a laugh, reaching up to rub at the nape of his neck. ] Damn, talk about an uncool delivery, huh?