[ ... texting to someone that's not kuroo or shouyou makes him feel more than a little uncomfortable, fingers tapping out his words at a mere quarter of his usual speed. he feels oddly stiff, formal, reaching for punctuation and grammar as if that's going to wrap some kind of insulating blanket around this entire exchange.
but.
bokuto is a good person, and kuroo cares about him a lot. when he's happy, kuroo is happy.
and a little discomfort is worth it to make someone you care about happy, isn't it? ]
that's not important.
he likes you a lot, and he'll try extra hard to make you happy. he's loud, he's clumsy, and he'll definitely mess up a lot, but...
he'll keep trying his best. so if you like him, even a little, then you should let him try. that's what i think.
[ For a very long moment, Akaashi has to rub his fingertips into his forehead. He gets a tension headache frequently due to his captain, but there's more to him than what most people expect. He's bright energy like the sun, but sometimes he goes supernova and turns into a damn black hole. He's... not necessarily the smartest person on the team, fair, but he's got a big heart, and is always willing to do his best. And nevermind that he's far, far more observant and keen than people give him credit for.
He helped make volleyball fun. He was Akaashi's moment, where it went from just a club to something he really enjoyed.
So, yes. He likes him, even a little bit. But it's... complicated. ]
right. thank you, kozume.
[ A beat - he realizes this must be difficult for Kenma. They coexist easily with one another in silence, when Nekoma and Fukurodani get together, but. ]
it's not that i don't like him, or that i wouldn't date him.
[ kozume has always made him feel vaguely squirmy; even the first years on the team know to call him kenma. ]
so is kuroo.
he says that things have to change, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing.
sometimes different can be good.
[ and kenma Highly Suspects that kuroo's only saying that to make him feel better, to help the prospect of kuroo going away to university and leaving him behind seem... a little less bleak. but that doesn't mean that it isn't a nice thought, that the weight of the words aren't vaguely comforting where they've settled in the back of his mind. things will change, but they've changed before -- he and kuroo, what they have, has always stayed the same. ]
[ Conversely, Akaashi feels awkward using first names. The result of being raised in an overly polite and formal household.
There's a long beat where he doesn't reply after that, but instead simply stares at those texts as he considers it. The problem is, he thinks the relationship between the captain and setter of Nekoma is distinctly different compared to anything he could have with Bokuto, considering... Bokuto. He doesn't want the distance that would come from his graduation to hurt him, though he knows he's resilient despite his depressive slumps.
He sighs and drops his phone on his face before he actually replies. ]
no, different can be good. that's true. it just seems to be complicated before you make the change.
[ there's a long pause on kenma's end, because he gets the nagging feeling that he should say something comforting, but trying to articulate the thought stumps him. in any other situation, he'd probably be inclined to roll over and turn this part of the conversation over to kuroo -- he's better at that sort of thing, at saying the things that people need to hear in a way that makes them feel strong enough to do something about it.
... but something stops him. maybe it's because his end of the conversation feels... raw, somehow, oddly exposed. he and kuroo have never really had any secrets between them, and kenma doesn't think this counts as their first, but... still. it still feels like something he needs to hold carefully to his chest, something as delicate and fragile as gossamer string.
(and his next impulse is to try to think of something that shouyou might say to someone, but trying to replicate that train of thought only makes him furrow his brows hard enough to give himself a headache.) ]
most things are.
[ a pause, and then he clarifies: ] complicated, i mean.
it's up to you if it's worth it, i guess.
[ ... which isn't comforting (at all), but. it's honest, and hopefully that means it counts for something. ]
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fortunately kenma has two
but.
bokuto is a good person, and kuroo cares about him a lot. when he's happy, kuroo is happy.
and a little discomfort is worth it to make someone you care about happy, isn't it? ]
that's not important.
he likes you a lot, and he'll try extra hard to make you happy. he's loud, he's clumsy, and he'll definitely mess up a lot, but...
he'll keep trying his best. so if you like him, even a little, then you should let him try. that's what i think.
thank u kenma
He helped make volleyball fun. He was Akaashi's moment, where it went from just a club to something he really enjoyed.
So, yes. He likes him, even a little bit. But it's... complicated. ]
right.
thank you, kozume.
[ A beat - he realizes this must be difficult for Kenma. They coexist easily with one another in silence, when Nekoma and Fukurodani get together, but. ]
it's not that i don't like him, or that i wouldn't date him.
he's graduating soon.
no subject
[ kozume has always made him feel vaguely squirmy; even the first years on the team know to call him kenma. ]
so is kuroo.
he says that things have to change, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing.
sometimes different can be good.
[ and kenma Highly Suspects that kuroo's only saying that to make him feel better, to help the prospect of kuroo going away to university and leaving him behind seem... a little less bleak. but that doesn't mean that it isn't a nice thought, that the weight of the words aren't vaguely comforting where they've settled in the back of his mind. things will change, but they've changed before -- he and kuroo, what they have, has always stayed the same. ]
no subject
[ Conversely, Akaashi feels awkward using first names. The result of being raised in an overly polite and formal household.
There's a long beat where he doesn't reply after that, but instead simply stares at those texts as he considers it. The problem is, he thinks the relationship between the captain and setter of Nekoma is distinctly different compared to anything he could have with Bokuto, considering... Bokuto. He doesn't want the distance that would come from his graduation to hurt him, though he knows he's resilient despite his depressive slumps.
He sighs and drops his phone on his face before he actually replies. ]
no, different can be good. that's true.
it just seems to be complicated before you make the change.
no subject
... but something stops him. maybe it's because his end of the conversation feels... raw, somehow, oddly exposed. he and kuroo have never really had any secrets between them, and kenma doesn't think this counts as their first, but... still. it still feels like something he needs to hold carefully to his chest, something as delicate and fragile as gossamer string.
(and his next impulse is to try to think of something that shouyou might say to someone, but trying to replicate that train of thought only makes him furrow his brows hard enough to give himself a headache.) ]
most things are.
[ a pause, and then he clarifies: ] complicated, i mean.
it's up to you if it's worth it, i guess.
[ ... which isn't comforting (at all), but. it's honest, and hopefully that means it counts for something. ]