[ lol Kuroo really hopes that Akaashi never sees this conversation, he'll kill Kuroo for making Bokuto think he's a goddamn robot. But how can you resist Bokuto's charms? His muscles? He's so beefy and dreamy and would love you with every ounce of devotion he could muster. ]
i'm tryin to help you bro tryin so hard
find out what his favorite food is and what kinda snacks he likes get them for him for like practice munchies and shit just find out what kinda stuff he likes in general!! and tell him how good he is and smart and shit he'll be putty in no time i bet my life on it
[ Kuroo, of course, goes to do other things in that ten minute pause. He goes back to fucking around in his program on the molecular structures of various plant life.
He figures Bokuto'll come back with his revelation eventually, and he does not disappoint. ]
it's always the quiet ones, dude and he's got the stern voice down pat imagine that in bed
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i'm tryin to help you bro
tryin so hard
find out what his favorite food is and what kinda snacks he likes
get them for him for like practice munchies and shit
just find out what kinda stuff he likes in general!!
and tell him how good he is and smart and shit
he'll be putty in no time
i bet my life on it
( 1/3 )
ur right man
ur moms a total babe and she deserves someone who isn't super into a robot
... like ur dad lol
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dude
bro
DUDE
BRO
am i getting
the super secret kuroo tetsurou guide to scoring big and getting hella laid
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but this is some next level stuff
this is like a secret technique passed down for thousands of generations
we're on a whole new plane of bro relations
i'm pretty sure i'm a member of ur family now
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i'm glad you've seen the light
besides you like my parents
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god
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aka how i court kenma on a regular basis
so yeah you're getting a secret technique, just adjusted for an owl robot
( 1/2 )
i'm gonna tear up for real
u know i love it when u talk sweet to me
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how's that going
have u managed to confess ur undying love yet
did he swoon into ur arms and ask u to make sweet love to him
(สฦชใ๏พ3๏พใ)
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my one and only
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it's going fine dude
i'm totally patient about it
like shit i'm so so thirsty you know this
but i'm chill with him setting the pace ใพ(*โแบโ)๏พ
( 1/3 )
u dont gotta woo me u know my heart is already urs
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if u keep letting him set the pace or w/e ur not gonna get laid until like
ur both dead
in the ground
skeletons
then maybe he'll let u bone him
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get it
BONE him
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just wait
it'll be AMAZING
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ha
that's a good one bro
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like
if we boned that would be fuckin AWESOME
but if we don't and he just wants to cuddle all the time
i'm down for that too
it's hard to explain kenma's just a different kinda beast altogether
which is why i gotta modify my guide for akaashi
i bet he's freaky in bed
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and then: ]
oh god
dude
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He figures Bokuto'll come back with his revelation eventually, and he does not disappoint. ]
it's always the quiet ones, dude
and he's got the stern voice down pat
imagine that in bed
( 1/3 )
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U DONT UNDERSTAND
IM GONNA DIE I CANT GO ON
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if i keep jerking off im gonna do permanent damage
i'll never be able to spike again
this is serious bro this is life or death
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i'm p sure you're gonna survive bokuto
i mean maybe not if you jerk your dick off
maybe you gotta skip the preening and posing and the overt courting
ask him on a date
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R U CRAZY DID U FORGET WHO WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE
WHAT IF HE SAYS NO
WHAT IF HE NEVER WANTS TO SET FOR ME AGAIN
[ he's building himself up to a prime emo mode, look out. ]
I'LL HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ON A BENCH
EVERYONE WILL FORGET HOW AWESOME I AM
I'LL DRY UP INTO A CRUSTY OLD ZOMBIE AND I'LL LOSE EVERY OUNCE OF COOL IN MY BODY
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you know akaashi better than me
do you really think he's gonna never want to set for you again???
he's like
the one person that gets you about as much as i do
and he's waaaaaay better at taking care of you than anybody else we know
plus he actually sticks around when you wanna do spike practice
even i bail after a while
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