all i do is win, win, win no matter what

[thekinged]

 

and every time i step up in the building everybody hands go up - and they stay there

Comments

[complimentary]

[ daichi has to go on and say something like that--something so bold and open and serious that suga stares at him with his eyes big and wide, his mouth falling open for a second. there are so many things in that statement he could start with (suga was the one who took daichi out for butterbeer after he and michimiya broke up, sneaking him out of the castle with the excuse that his owl was very sick and they needed to see a vet and carrying a covered cage out with his animagus best friend instead, or maybe the fact that michimiya knew or that daichi loved him, daichi loved him--) that suga doesn't even know where to begin. his composure breaks with a flush that immediately bursts across his pale face, and suga drops off of daichi's chest to grab a pillow, covering his face with it and holding his arms on top to hide his embarrassment. ]

Oh my god. [ he moans into it, eventually, starting there. ] Daichi, I've liked you for so long, you can't just say stuff like that out of nowhere. This is for real, right? I'm not asleep?

[ he'll just be under this pillow for a few minutes, dying of mortification and emotional overload all at once. sawamura daichi loves him. this has got to be some insane dream. he's never moving from this spot in case he has to wake up.

he's going to have to have a conversation with michimiya later. one that involves a lot of very un-suga-like whining. ] I thought you only liked girls!

[workouts]

[ If only he had a camera or something right next to his bed, because Daichi wants more than anything to get a picture of Suga's reaction before it's lost to the pillow. He can't really help but laugh, even with his face flushed, because he's thinking of the same thing that Suga is - he remembers shifting into his animagus form and sitting atop a pile of clothes in a covered cage so that they could head down to Hogsmeade. Part of him is certain that the professors that they had talked to knew what they were up to, but he doesn't comment. He just thinks about how they had sast there drinking butterbeer, talking all night, until they had to sneak back into the castle for a very, very long day of classes.

It hadn't been a post-breakup outing for him. It'd been a realization, and he'd spent the entire time just watching Suga, understanding that what Michimiya said was truth. He was in love with Sugawara Koushi and there wasn't anything he could do about it.

Calmly rolling onto his side, until he can peer down at where Suga is hiding himself, he slides his hand up his arm to settle on one of his hands.

And then he gently pinches the back of it. ]

It's hard to explain, but it's the truth. I think a part of me knew a lot sooner than that, but I just didn't realize it, not until I had to sit down and really think about it. [ Daichi smooths his thumb over the back of his hand to make up for pinching it. ] And what I figured out was that this felt right, and if it feels right to you, then we should do it. Especially since we're stupid and liked each other for as long as we have.

[complimentary]

Ouch. [ suga says without much actual pain to it, fluttering open his eyes to the red of daichi's pillowcase. he knows why he's doing it--it's stupid and dorky and cute, like daichi always is, and he can't really hide the smile that's pulling at his face underneath the satin. these are the things suga would get a squeeze in his chest from before this. his laugh, his smile, the way he gets embarrassed, his everything, pretty much, because sawamura daichi was the kind of person that suga fell head over heels for. and he knew that he was never going to come out of it, knew when he laid just like this in his own bed in the ravenclaw common room, muttering "i don't have a crush on sawamura" into the fabric until he could maybe convince himself. turned out he never could, because one day, 'sawamura' became daichi, and one day suga literally could not imagine his life without daichi ever existing in it.

when he started dating michimiya, suga wasn't--he wasn't sad. he was, a little bit, but anyone would be when their biggest crush was making heart eyes at someone across the room. but, by then, just six months ago, suga had figured out that daichi probably never would like him back, and he'd be happy just to sit on the periphery. so he listened to him, teased him when he got embarrassed about her, helped him bake her chocolates for valentines day. suga just wanted to be in daichi's life, in the end, and if that meant being the cool, perpetually single uncle to his five perfect quidditch playing kids, well, at least he'd be cooler than asahi.

so this all feels unbelievable; like this thing he's holding in his hands is fake. the pinch is appreciated, and suga exhales, quietly, and spreads his fingers so that daichi's bigger ones can fall into the space between his. he only lifts the pillow for a brief second with his other hand, enough to give him a look. ] You're saying that like this wasn't an accident. And you still didn't answer my question!

[ about liking guys, anyway. at this point daichi may as well take the pillow off of him, he won't argue. ]

[workouts]

[ Going quiet as he slides his fingers between Suga's, Daichi lets his eyes focus on the bright red of his pillow instead of anything else. His mind wanders, and his gaze unfocuses as he considers how he should answer that. It's really hard to, because he knows what it feels like to him, but not how to put it into words. Michimiya didn't ask him any questions about it, just seemed to assume an answer and stuck with it in her mind while they were together. At the very least, she seemed to be understanding when they broke up, especially considering she was the one to break it to him that he was in love with Suga.

For as much as he talked about Michimiya to others, and enjoyed spending time with her, he realized she was right. He spends so much time talking about Suga, thinking about him, wanting to be with him, that it simply makes sense. Whatever future he might have had with her did not hold a candle to the one he could have with Suga, though he had simply assumed that Suga would be there no matter what happened. Whatever choices they made, there was Suga at his side, like he always is.

Tilting his head so that his cheek rests against his shoulder, weight supported on his elbow, Daichi just smiles softly at where Koushi peeks out and reaches with their joined hands to nudge the pillow down further. ]

That's what's hard to explain. I don't look at people and go "I'd date them," no matter if they're a girl or a guy. I got to know Michimiya and when she asked me out, after we'd been friends for a while, that was when I thought "yeah, I'd date her." [ He strokes his thumb along the side of Suga's hand. ] When she made me realize that I was already in love with you, I knew that the answer would be "I'd be the happiest person in the world if I dated Suga."

[complimentary]

[ suga's heart does a backflip and a half at that smile, and he can't help but return it as the pillow shifts down. he knows he probably looks ridiculous in comparison--at the moment, daichi looks like heaven personified, from the look on his face to the way the morning light's filtering through the closed curtains around them and highlight his cheek, his nose, the deep brown of his eyes. it's still kind of hard to believe that he's holding his hand at the moment, that they've kissed a few times, and everything about suga (anything that might have been embarrassed or worried or scared) just softens.

he returns the stroke of his thumb with his own hand, and he'd look down at it if he could peel his gaze away from daichi--which, at the moment, he definitely can't. "i'd be the happiest person in the world if i dated suga", he says, and suga feels himself break into a dumb smile, feels warm from the tips of his fingers right down to his toes. daichi loves him, and he loves daichi. whatever happened after this--school, work, real life--they'd work it out.

it was only a shame that they'd waited so long. six whole years they could have spent doing this, but suga can't complain. if anyone could make it work, they could. he's stubborn and young and in love, and nothing about that's going to change anytime soon. ]

Sappy. [ he says, softly, but the smile he gives daichi is brilliant. ] Me too.

[ because he is. he's so, so happy. a meteor could strike the school right now, and he wouldn't care. suga's whole world has narrowed down to him and daichi alone. ]

[workouts]

[ Sometimes, Suga's hair looks like perfect silver. It's usually at night, when they're sitting in the common room or in the astrology tower, when the moon and stars are bright as they can be over the Hogwarts grounds, making it shine like it's made of starlight, too. But right now, looking down at him in the perfect morning, sunlight shining through red and gold curtains and drapes to reach them, it just looks like spun gold. He has to adjust his weight on his arm so that he can bring his free hand up, brushing some of his hair away from his face, tucking it behind his ear the same way he's seen Suga do before. ]

There are people I think are attractive, in an abstract kind of way. Like, if you're looking at a statue or painting. Something that's appreciated, y'know? Someone says that a person is hot or cute, and I think of it like they're a portrait I'm looking at. Even Michimiya, for the most part. [ Slowly, he brushes his knuckles over Suga's cheek, tracing down to his jaw once the pillow is down far enough that he can touch him.

Maybe it's really sappy - like, really sappy - but it's who Daichi is. And he knows that way he's saying is true, otherwise he wouldn't say it so freely. Certain things embarrass him really easily, as Suga knows so well, but sometimes he finds the Gryffindor courage and uses it for this.

Moving, he leans over Suga more, trapping the pillow between their chests momentarily as he leans down over him to brush his lips against Suga's. ]

But you, I think you're beautiful, Koushi.

[complimentary]

[ the surprise at the statement colors all over suga's face again, a pale pink flush that follows the trace of daichi's knuckle, up near where suga knows his mole is down his cheek. it takes him a long time to speak, and when he does, it's soft and warm as a summer breeze, his mouth still tingling just a little from the barest, faintest kiss. ]

You're impossible. [ it's so, so unbelievably fond. suga finally relinquishes his hold on the pillow to pick his hands up and press them to daichi's cheeks, holding him there so that he can really look him in the eyes as he talks. his face hurts from smiling at this point, as suga sort of relishes in the fact that all of this is real.

(class has long since started. suga doesn't care.)

his thumbs track over his cheekbones, and even though he rolls his eyes, it's downright playful. ] Do you know how hard it is to have a conversation with you when you're like this? We're trying to have a serious talk about feelings, and you go and say things like that. [ his tone's chiding and teasing, but he's practically doe eyed, the kind of thing coach would yell at players for for doing across the quidditch pitch. there's this deep, powerful sense of love that feels like it's soaking everything he's doing, like all the times suga's said it in his head (daichi, i love you. daichi, i love you so much. daichi, i wish you loved me too) need to be made up for, in each gesture, in each little touch.

quietly, he dips in for another kiss, and then another. ] For the record, that's you. [ beautiful, that is. although beautiful's not really the word. he pauses for a moment, nose wrinkling. ] Handsome, maybe. Strong. [ his thumb strokes over his cheek again. ] Inspiring. You could tell me to fly my broom off a cliff and I'd follow you.

[workouts]

[ If Suga weren't holding his cheeks in his hands, Daichi would absolutely duck his head. As it is, he just drops his eyes lower - oh, that's Koushi's mouth in his line of sight now, but it's something at least - and lets out a sheepish little laugh. His face feels warm, but it's nothing in the face of the fingers against his skin, the thumbs tracing along his cheekbones.

His shoulder twitches a little in a shrug, but he keeps his balance over Suga, careful not to fall over onto him. Though, he thinks that maybe it would be nice, to just press himself over Suga and kiss his face. It's not a feeling he's had for anyone else, but he'd never dream of having his feelings for Suga towards anyone else. Not even the people he cares about most, not even when he and Michimiya were together. ]

Well, they're my feelings, and they're pretty serious. And mostly about you, so. [ He closes his eyes partway, smile a little lopsided. It's revenge for the things Suga says, and what he will undoubtedly wind up saying before long. That's the realization he has that this clever and kindhearted Slytherin is bound to spend the rest of their lives just trying to fluster him, and he's kind of okay with that. So long as he can have moments like this.

With each kiss, he lingers and obviously resists following after him the second time. His eyes flicker open completely again, and he just... keeps smiling dopily at him, his cheeks straining with it, eyes crinkling. ]

I'd never ask you to do that. [ Ducking down, he gives him a third kiss, hand going to cup his cheek and thumb brushing over the beauty mark. ] I think your loyalty would be at odds with how sensible you are, anyways.