laography | 'cause somebody stole my car radio

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❝ and now i just sit in silence. ❞

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THIS POST HAS POTENTIAL TO BECOME NSFW.

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[ see, the thing about this surge forward is that yaku could have stayed still. honestly? he's a libero. he knows how to throw his body weight around, small as it is. it's why his kicks to the ass are so deadly (and why he can throw a mean elbow when it comes to certain kohai draping over him like he's an armrest.) there's no reason for this to have moved him at all.

no, the reason is that there's a surge of emotion that's sort of overwhelming that rises up in his chest. it's fondness, impossible, warm fondness, and yaku's left staring at his dumb kohai as he starts to come closer with his mouth a little open and his cheeks bright red. he should be used to these sort of comments from lev, but this one was so...sincere, it almost hurt to look at him. no shitty comment about how he's an ace. no height jokes. nothing, just this kid who really does want to do his best at--everything. even if that everything includes a crush on him of all people, three years older and half his size.

so, when lev surges forward, yaku lets gravity take over, flopping backwards on his back so he can get a good look at him. his small hands come up to thread into his silver hair, absently, and the look he gives him is warm. ]

You're an idiot. [ he says, but in that tone of voice, it almost sounds like a petname. ]

[ Someday, Lev will be the ace. Someday, Lev will lead Nekoma to victory. He doesn't think he has what it takes to be captain - only Kuroo has that, and he doesn't know who among his senpai will take his place when he graduates, but he knows they'll do great! - but maybe by the time he really is the ace he'll be in the position to become the captain, too. Someday, Yaku will love him back the way that Lev loves him, and everything will be great. They don't have to get married right away, but he'd really like if that happened, too.

But, for now, this is good, too.

Catching himself on his forearms, so that he doesn't land on top of Yaku - resilient as he is, he doesn't want to wind him, that might get him an elbow or a punch to the heead - and he just... looks down at him, eyes still wide in that earnest, adoring way that he has when he's being sincere. When Yaku is like this, it feels like his heart grows in his chest, and it makes everything better. And, really, it does. He thinks Yaku is funny when he's mean, when he kicks him in the ass or gives him a lecture.

But he likes this Yaku, too. So Lev just smiles at him, softer, less of a beaming grin, but warm and stupidly in love all the same. ]

I know, Yaku-san. [ And it's the tone of voice that has him ducking down, kissing him. ]

[ this is going nowhere, and yaku's sure of it. someone (the vaguely kuroo sounding voice in the back of his head that pops up every now and then) would tell yaku that he's overthinking as usual, but he's not, he's just...being cautious. after all, lev is a first year, with a bright future ahead of him (maybe) and yaku's got...college. university. time playing as a libero for a few more years, working on his studies. he wants to be a nurse and that's not an easy job--there's no way he's going to make time. if he keeps rationalizing it like that, then maybe it will stop hurting so much imagining letting it go.

especially when he smiles at him like that, soft and warm and so, so amazingly sincere. if there's one thing about haiba lev, it's that he's sincere and genuine about everything--he's not the brightest guy in the world, but he's got a big heart, and he never, ever gives up on anything.

even being in love with his senpai, apparently.

so for a moment, yaku returns the smile, a quiet twitch at the corner of his mouth, and returns the kiss without any fuss, lifting a small hand to thread into his hair. ]

[ Maybe if he were smarter, Lev would realize that this doesn't have that great a shot in the longrun. It's going to be a long time before he graduates, and Yaku will have gone off to do wonderful things before too long, will be in nursing school and using those beautiful, worn, small hands to heal people. And Lev... Lev doesn't know what he's going to wind up doing. As the middle son of a large family, they're all doing different things, and his parents are essentially lax with what they all decide to do.

So long as they do something productive with themselves. He just wants to play volleyball with his friends, become someone they can depend on. Maybe he'll go pro? That would be amazing.

But, he's not the type to think about his future in the long term. Not the way other people do. Becoming the ace, earning Yaku's love, marrying him someday. That's about all he cares about right now.

Well, in the future tense, anyways. Right now, he just wants to kiss Yaku, fingers stroking through his short hair, knuckles brushing across the warm curve of his cheek, happy. Content. ]

[ don't let yaku know that's what you're thinking, lev. he might die (and you might also die from the ensuing reaction.) lev is a mess, an absolute disaster with too many limbs and too much length and in general, just too much, but yaku's kind of enjoyed watching him grow. as a player and as a person both--if he can get his head out of his ass once the third years leave, he could be a very, very formidable weapon for nekoma, and maybe a little less of an idiot.

(yaku's not really counting on that one; it's gross that he's starting to find it kind of endearing.)

at the moment, that endearment's what has him returning the kiss, tipping up a little into the brush of his knuckles--that tender little touch sets off sparks, and he flushes underneath his touch unconsciously, slowly reddening as always with physical contact like this. it's a little different than how he feels towards most of his kohai--kenma inspires just the urge to protect him at all cost, tora inspires the need to smack someone in the back of the head. lev is somewhere between both of those things, a desire to choke him but also a desire to kiss him.

god. ]

'cause somebody stole my car radio

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