[ Settling himself down in the nest as Stiles opens it to him, Derek remains fully stationary and instead lets Stiles find his place with him. It's natural and easy, something they've fallen into since they fell into each other. His fingers slide around his ribs so that he can wrap his arms around him, spread wide so that his palms can feel the expansion of his chest as he breathes, feel the beat of his heart pressed into his touch. Once they're comfortable, he kisses his shoulder, nuzzles into the curve of it and lets out a sigh that bleeds tension out of him.
Neither of them have slept, but he's had Stiles. Had Cora and Scott, Isaac and Allison, Jackson and Lydia. Dean, Castiel, Remus, Jo, Tom, Emma, James. People that he's come to know and consider his pack, in some way. They're his friends, his family. Maybe he's restless, but he has these quiet moments with Stiles where the Jabberwock hunts, disappears and leaves them be for a handful of hours, a few days if they're lucky.
It's rest enough. ]
We're almost ready, too. [ It's not a so far, so good, because Derek knows better to jinx them. Instead, he just relaxes against the line of Stiles' back, rubs his thumb gently against his heartbeat at the side of his chest. His other hand dips down, finds his hip so that he can slip his fingers underneath the hems of his shirts.
If he can just have this moment with the one person that's come to mean more than anything to him, his anchor in the chaos of Wonderland, then he'll enjoy every second of it. Maybe it'll be the last they have, or maybe it'll just be the first of many to come at the defeat of the Jabberwock. He doesn't know. He just knows that he'll do whatever it takes to keep Stiles safe and to come back to him. ]
Almost. [ he echoes him quietly as he leans backwards, rests the back of his head on his shoulder. there's no definitive for this--there's not even a guarantee it's going to work. stiles is just hoping with every fiber of his being that it will, that he can have some peace and quiet. that he can see scott smiling again, like he hasn't in months.
that maybe someday they can go home again, because stiles misses his dad something fierce, every day. but he doesn't really want to go if he can't take his new family with him, the people he'd grown to love. the hole his dad missing left could never be filled, but emma and dean had been there for him in the kind of guidance he'd needed. people he'd barely been close with had become some of his closest friends.
he had derek.
right now, that's all he really needs, too. a minute or two to not think about the core plan. to not think about everything that could go horribly, awfully wrong. he tucks his head a little into the curve of derek's neck and lets out a sigh, his long arms drifting absently to rest on derek's forearms. ] It's the best we can do, I guess.
It's a good plan. [ His hand presses against the warm skin of his waist, under layers of shirts and blankets, and Derek just sits there with him. Lets him lean back into him and turn into his neck. There isn't even an ounce of tension as he inserts himself into that space, hasn't been any there for years now, and he just angles his head the slightest bit to make it easier for him. ] It's the best one we've got.
[ Turning gently, he nuzzles into his hair with his nose, breathing him in and leaving another soft kiss to his head. As always, he just wants to touch Stiles everywhere, drift his hands across soft skin and leave kisses everywhere. It's become his permanent state of being, like he wants to take advantage of their closeness just to hold fast to the person that he cares about most. Has come to care about as much as he does.
It isn't even sexual, just something pushing on adoring. After everything that's happened, after numerous deaths between them both, he holds onto this as tightly as he can.
And there's one thing, that he's been thinking about for a while now. He squeezes his fingers against Stiles' hip, looking out at the trees as he considers it for a long moment more. ] I wanted to talk to you about something.
[ a part of stiles always wants to freak out at those words, and three or four years ago, it might have been terrifying. sometimes he waited for the other shoe to drop, when they got in huge arguments and screaming matches, but it never did. and he never let it for derek either, cupped his face and kissed him fiercely until it felt like he could tattoo it into him, i love you and i'm never letting you go. they died in this mansion together--stiles, four times since his arrival. it never got easier, the emotional strain was never any less, and stiles wasn't sure how long he had with these fake "whack a mole" deaths (name his) before something weird happened.
that was for later, though, when the jabberwock was in their sight again. for now, it was off rampaging in the trees, leaving the two of them a moment of quiet as derek mentions talking. and stiles doesn't freak out; his heartbeat barely fidgets as he lolls his head to turn his brown eyed gaze up to his face, raising his eyebrows. ] Shoot.
[ his mind races with the possibilities, but they're not anything bad. ]
[ The words caused his own heart to stutter in his chest, sudden and pained and lost every time he heard them. But after enough arguments, after enough times that Stiles could've left, could've told him to leave, it's left him. Derek knows better than to think, after so many times that Stiles has pressed the words into his mouth until he was forced to breathe them in, that he ever meant any different. His anchor isn't going anywhere, and neither is he. He never will, regardless of how they snap at one another occasionally.
Before, he used to think that you would drown if you entrusted yourself to another person. Now, he thinks he'd drown if he didn't.
Something affectionate enters his expression as Stiles rolls his head aside, looks up at him with those enormous bambi eyes. The years have been long, and the past few weeks especially hard, but there's still that spark there that had drawn him in in the first place. ]
You remember when Isaac, Scott, and Allison asked for me to officiate their marriage? [ There aren't any quotation marks or anything. In his mind, there was nothing unofficial about that union. If his ancestors could do it, considering it binding, then so would he.
He pauses, looks away for him a second as his eyebrows raise, before dropping a pale gaze back to him, almost grey in the dimness of the between place of night and morning. ] Well, Scott cried on you when you said you'd be his best man, so I doubt you'd really forget. Not the point.
[ stiles snorts with the memory; it brings something warm and familiar to his chest. that'd been happier times, six months or so back, when scott had freaked out (do i propose to them both? what do i do?!) and stiles had coached him through it. despite everything that was already starting to happen then, it was a bright spot, like jo and tom's had been a couple years earlier. scott cried on his shoulder and stiles cried a little too when he agreed, because there's nothing he'd wanted more, and he'd whooped and hollered and given the best damn best man speech he could. ]
Scott cried through the whole ceremony. Allison was the manliest one there. [ the lopsided smile stays on his face as he finishes his answer, staring at him in return. derek has these eyes that seem to just take in the light--stiles loves them when they're angry and passionate, red-eyed and protective, when they're catching the orange of the sunrise in his bedroom or near pitch dark at night. they're stupidly handsome, like much of derek had been since before their arrival and continued to be, and the sight of them looking at him like that, four years since he'd grabbed stiles' shoulders before he could dart off at dean's first thanksgiving and kissed him until his knees went weak.
four years. it was still hard to believe sometimes. ] Thinking about their anniversary presents? [ it's teasing, quiet. ]
Allison is always the manliest one. [ When he started really thinking of Allison as pack, Derek still doesn't know. But he can remember when he started thinking of her as family, and there's something fond in his voice as he thinks about the three of them, matching and perfect together. Maybe they all have unhappy spots in their lives, where they fight and have to repair things, but there's nothing else he can call them. He and Stiles are broken, damaged, but they're perfect for each other, too.
Expression curling into fond amusement, affection for his pack but love for Stiles, he reaches his hand up and brushes it against the jagged constellation that spans across Stiles' cheek. It's a path that he's taken many times before, will continue to take for as long as they're both alive. And he'll never forget tracing it the first time, in the mansion kitchen as they were surrounded by holiday food and quiet celebration after such a traumatic time.
Leaning in, he brushes his lips against Stiles', eyes half-closed but never leaving that bright, warm whiskey. It's the only thing, besides that stupid purple drink Isaac had gotten out of the closet, that could ever get him drunk. ] No. [ He doesn't pull away as he speaks, just talks against the bow of his lips. ] I want you to marry me.
[ the path that his thumb follows is so familiar stiles feels like he himself could trace it in his sleep. the last person to follow them called them his "stars" and did it when he couldn't sleep and crawled into bed, four or five years old and tucked up against his mother's hip and next to his dad while she read him bedtime stories and soothed him back to dreamland. he missed her, misses her, more than life and death itself, and there was always a part of him that hoped (kind of naively) that if this place could pull people back from any time, they could pull his mom from before her death, too. it never happened, but he always dreamed.
for now, though, he could feel derek finding it, the same way he had a thousand times before, and he returns the kiss with faint ease, confusion practically pressed to his mouth, but flutters his eyes shut and doesn't open them again until he drops that bombshell against his mouth. ] --What?
[ his heart does some kind of trapeze work in his chest, a low swoop that nearly punches the air out of him, and he pulls away from derek if only to stare at him, brown eyes huge and wide. ] Like--right now? Can you even do that?
[ it's not a negative answer--it's just stiles, having to ask the questions before he can safely assume. ]
[ There have been nights where Derek has wondered whether Wonderland would give them people that they've lost. If he'll see his mother, get to introduce her to Stiles. Get to meet Stiles' mother, and hopefully make a better impression than he did with the sheriff upon his return to Beacon Hills. Maybe he'd get to share his little brother with his pack, let him meet the people that he'd been looking out for, the ones that had been looking out for him.
But he sweeps the thoughts away, and instead replaces them with the feel of his soft skin under calloused touch. "Stars" are right-- they're practically the guiding stars for his life, now.
His eyebrows raise a little in amusement, and he pretends that his heart doesn't clench painfully in his chest. But it's not bad, it's the best feeling he's ever had, something that Stiles can do to him without even a pause between one thought and the next. He'd thought he'd loved Paige so fiercely, but it doesn't hold a candle to this, to anything he feels for a boy with a sharp wit and even sharper mouth, who runs with wolves like he's one of them. ]
Stiles, I married three people at once. I think I can marry us. [ And he wants to, more than anything else. It doesn't matter if it's the last day they'll have together like this or just another day. He figured out pretty fast he wanted Stiles in his life, for as long as he had it. ]
Oh. [ it comes out kind of stupidly, and he blinks a couple of times, staring at him like he's still trying to process. it never really...occurred to stiles that it could happen to them, too. he could lose derek tomorrow, for all he knew. why not just -- ]
Yes. [ he blurts it out before he can even think about it more, because he wants it so bad it literally aches in his chest, twists up and explodes into butterflies that threaten to come out of his mouth the way the words do; he jerks out of his grip for a second, but only enough to stare at him, grab his cheeks and look at him, brown eyes searching his face, eyebrows knitted together in something, intense affection maybe.
then, slowly, a grin breaks out over his cheeks, slow and familiar and aching, because he hasn't slept in a couple days and this place has turned into hell, but he found his little piece of heaven out here on guard duty. ] Real romantic for your vows, but I guess no one's counting.
[ A laugh startles out of him, a sudden bark of it in response to the simple "oh," but there's nothing cruel to it. Derek just smiles at him, eyes crinkling and laughter lines creasing as his mouth downturns at the corners in a sincere, meaningful expression. And it doesn't leave, when Stiles actually answers. It actually seems to grow a little more, and he presses into his hands on his cheeks, radiating something happy that he hasn't been allowed to have ever since the Jabberwock tore through Wonderland to raise hell.
His hands come up, dragging his shirts up a little before he gets to his ribs, up his shoulders, to his neck. An easier laugh leaves him, and he tips towards him, straight line of his nose brushing into the upturn of Stiles'. ]
You're a pain in my ass. Got under my skin and wound up staying there. [ He traces his thumbs along the line of his jaw as his palms press against either side of his neck, feeling his pulse and just the life in him. ] Don't understand the meaning of the word "no." But I promise to tolerate when you stick your cold feet under my legs, and let you hog the blankets during winter.
[ the grin on his face grows and grows as he talks, and stiles ducks his head a little. it's not praise, not overwhelmingly so, but it's just kind of perfect, and he looks at derek from underneath his brow after he bumps their noses together, pulling back just a little and resting his arms on his shoulders. ]
Oh yeah, I don't want to hear it from Mister I Showed Affection Like a Playground Bully. [ he's full on beaming now, giving his cheeks a little squeeze as he talks about his own "vows". ] I promise to always be surprised when you're lurking, and to not shove you out of the bed when you start snoring in my ear.
[ he thumbs at derek's cheekbone, just above his beard, and softens immediately, something heavy and warm in his chest when he leans forward a little and presses their foreheads together, just long enough to get out what he's trying to say. ] ...I promise not to use you. [ and to lighten it just a little-- ] Not even to get free drinks at a bar because of your ridiculous muscles.
You liked it. [ That fierce affection stays on his face as they poke fun at each other, rude and insulting but with no real bite. Because this is who they are, capable of making fun of each other, of making fun of themselves, and being able to roll with it. He laughs as Stiles squeezes at his cheeks, but he doesn't pull away, nose scrunching a little.
But as he presses their foreheads together, the expression goes from warm and amused to something twisting in his chest, and it shows on his face. Because for years now, he's never thought that Stiles would ever use him. Maybe he was afraid that he would finally get smart about him, actually leave, but he never once in the history of their stay of Wonderland thought that he would use him.
The corner of his mouth twitches as he lightens it, and he touches his face again, fingers broad and warm and cradling his face. ] I promise I will see you through everything. Anchor for an anchor. [ He doesn't lighten it. ]
The affection or the snoring? Because let me tell you, I could live without the snoring. [ There's a twinkle of mischief in his eyes and he leans backwards just enough, turning his head and pressing into Derek's hands, cradling his face.
It's not like he ever thought about it. He knew, now, knew about Jennifer. Kate. Paige. Everything that had happened in Derek's scarred history had been what made him so terrified to take the first steps forward, that he didn't just want to be his next mistake. But it hadn't been so much as a step as a leap, and five years later, he was getting the feeling that maybe this hadn't even been close to a mistake from the very start.
He wasn't in need of an anchor like Derek was, but sometimes--sometimes there was something that felt like darkness breathing on the very edge of his soul. And Derek was always, always there to chase it back away.
He lets go of his cheeks, finally, dropping his arm on Derek's shoulders and giving him a lopsided smile. ] 'ssthat all you've gotta do to make it official, then, alpha mine?
And I could live without you talking in your sleep. And hitting me in the face with your arm. And rolling off the bed. And drooling on me. [ It's easy, to just return that look of mischief, teasing and playful. Stiles' sleeping quirks don't bother him in the least, haven't for ages now. They're not perfect people, but they're a perfect unit, and that's honestly what makes them.
Partially, anyways. Stiles has learned about his past, through his own snooping and Derek telling him the truth. Confirming that what Peter told him was, for the most part, entirely true. And that he'd been right, when he thought he figured out everything from Kate's file, the papers about the fire, Derek's reactions to her name and memories she'd left on him years later. The lack of memories when it came to being around Jennifer, until Stiles and Scott came to his loft and told him she was the one, she was the darach. He's seen everything and he's still here.
And he returns it in kind, refuses to go anywhere when something dark hedges its way into Stiles' life, grasps at his heart and tries to take him. He'd been in the dark for nearly a decade-- he knows his way around it now. Knows how to lead Stiles out of it. ]
By the power vested in me, as an alpha of the Wonderland wolf pack and a descendent of the Hales... [ He tips forward, pressing his lips to the curve of Stiles' chin first in a faint smile, a million meanings in one gesture. ] Consider the wolf marriage finalized and signed in triplicate.
I drool on your arm to replicate your feelings of being in a pack. [ He says that completely matter of factly, like he's dead serious, and taps his chest, tone mocking. ] To ~satiate your inner wolf~.
[ Which is so sarcastic, they'd had this whole talk about this before. Stiles' grin doubles a little at the chin kiss, when he tilts his head upwards to allow him into his space, and something warm drips straight down to his toes at the words that come out of his mouth. It should be ridiculous; it's not. It's private, it didn't need a ceremony like Scott did. (Maybe when they get back to Beacon Hills, so his dad could be involved.)
It's the first real smile he's put on all week, from dealing with the plan on the core, and he presses forward and pulls him in by the front of his shirt, for a deep, obviously pleased kiss. ]
I'll show you what'll satiate my inner wolf. [ Derek growls at him, but there's nothing threatening to it as Stiles taps at his chest, something that would've gotten his finger broken in the past. Now, it doesn't even faze him.
The kiss to his chin turns into a bit of a nip, but nothing sharp or actually reprimanding. Just playful affection, further teasing between the two of them. Especially in this moment, warm before dawn in a private corner of their world when something is rampaging beyond them. And if that isn't the most fitting marriage for them, he doesn't know what would be. A ceremony can come later-- and he's of the same mind, because they'll find a way back, they'll remember everything even if they have to claw at the memories, they'll share this with the sheriff-- and they can tell the rest of the pack then.
The moment sinks into his chest, spreads warmth all throughout him, and practically burns at the smile on Stiles' face. There's no resistance as he pulls, Derek just following his gravity and kissing him, deep and sweet and just as warm as he feels. ]
Oooh, what big teeth you have. [ Stiles cracks a huge grin at him and makes a face of mock surprise, covering his mouth with both hands before he drops it again.
The bite isn't even bothersome--it's pretty par for the course for Derek, and he lets go of him to run a hand up into his hair instead, holding him in place as he kisses him slowly but surely, opening his mouth into his and and letting his eyes flutter shut. He can get lost in Derek, in the warmth his arms create and the sound of his voice, and forget about the Jabberwocky for a little while.
When he finally pulls away, it's to fidget back and turn around, so he's facing him, then cup his face again, gently, and murmur against his mouth. ] Love you, big guy.
All the better to eat you with. [ Derek lets something suggestive come out in his voice, shameless with it because he's had this for so long that it's natural, just the one step forward he can take without an ounce of discomfort.
A pleased noise rumbles in his chest as he runs his hand into his hair, his fingers sliding up and into Stiles' own unruly bedhead. His expression is still warm, curled into a smile, even as he kisses him. It's deep and open, languid, and all he knows for a little while is Stiles. There isn't a need to patrol the grounds, or look out at the forest. It's just him and Stiles, and all his senses know is him. The beat of his heart in his ears, the taste of him, his scent-- so mingled with Derek's that they're one and the same.
His legs part a little more as Stiles fidgets around, letting him move freely before his hands are on him again, bringing the blankets up around his shoulders, the back of his head. Giving him a hood and a smile against his lips. ] Love you, too.
[ Stiles rolls his eyes, but it's obviously good natured, considering, and he leans forward just a little, giving Derek a little push with his hands. Then, sitting backwards, he takes the blankets and holds them under his chin, batting his eyelashes and giving him a stupid look.]
What big eyes you have. [ You were asking for this, Derek, you really were. The grin on his face goes a little manic, just because it's obvious that he's enjoying this. Technically, he just got married, and it's practically the apocalypse here. He is completely allowed to make horrible sex jokes with the intention of getting laid in the future, red riding hood allegories included. ]
[ Going easy with the push, Derek drops back on his elbows and lets out a bright laugh at Stiles and his sudden cloak, the oh-so virginal and innocent little red riding hood. Right. ]
All the better to see you with. [ He was, but he's not even complaining. For as much hell as he gives Stiles for the horrible sex jokes, there are times where he plays along, wordlessly admitting that he doesn't mind them as much as he pretends. Post-marriage is entirely one of those times. His fingers shift up, sliding under the blankets and curling in his shirt. Eyebrows twitching upwards, just this side of suggestive, he cracks a wolfish smile at him. ]
[ He's actually playing along for once. Stiles' grin grows even more and leans forward so he's more or less on all fours over him, elbows bracketing his head and knees around his hips. His quote-unquote red riding hood falls from his head and lands around his shoulders, and he murmurs-- ] What a big dick you have.
[ And kisses him, but he can't help the way he just snorts into the kiss, making a pffffft noise and breaking into a full out grin against his mouth, until he's laughing and he has to drop his head on his shoulder, because that was seriously ridiculous, and seriously, he is not that lame.
(Except you know if he responds it's actually kind of hot, but shh, that's a secret.) ]
One thread to kill you for another reason entirely.
[ Slowly easing back as Stiles leans forward over him, Derek slides his hands up the back of his shirts, finding warm skin and tracing across it with broad fingers. He knows what's coming before it leaves Stiles' mouth, but he still can't help but snort a little, himself.
The kiss is sloppy and stupid, but it's perfect, and his shoulders shake underneath Stiles' head as he laughs openly. Because this is ridiculous, Stiles is ridiculous, but this is where he's placed his affections and he absolutely wouldn't put them anywhere else.
Still, he turns his head, mouthing against the spot below Stiles' ear, and murmurs back: ] All the better to fuck you with.
[ He's still grinning, even when Derek actually responds to him (and he will thank his own influence for that one) and tucks his head against his neck, pressing an open mouthed kiss to his throat and groaning, more out of embarrassment than anything sexual. ] Oh my god, dude.
[ ...but still. He lifts his head up from where he's tucked into his neck and kisses him again, raising his eyebrows, and speaking in a low voice. ] Are we reaaaaaaally gonna do this right now?
[ Not that they haven't before but. ] Y'know. Consummate. Make the beast with two backs. Bump uglies. Get jiggy with it.
[ His shoulders keep twitching, laughs barely contained in him, because he's happy in this sea of insanity. Stiles is a bad influence on him, but he's even more of a good influence on him. He's his anchor, keeps him steady and on the right course, and maybe he's all right with this slip in maturity that crops up when it's the two of them.
Derek tips his chin up to return the kiss, expression curled into amusement as he lays against the roof, looking up at him in the quiet before the storm. ] Stiles.
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openly weeps
Neither of them have slept, but he's had Stiles. Had Cora and Scott, Isaac and Allison, Jackson and Lydia. Dean, Castiel, Remus, Jo, Tom, Emma, James. People that he's come to know and consider his pack, in some way. They're his friends, his family. Maybe he's restless, but he has these quiet moments with Stiles where the Jabberwock hunts, disappears and leaves them be for a handful of hours, a few days if they're lucky.
It's rest enough. ]
We're almost ready, too. [ It's not a so far, so good, because Derek knows better to jinx them. Instead, he just relaxes against the line of Stiles' back, rubs his thumb gently against his heartbeat at the side of his chest. His other hand dips down, finds his hip so that he can slip his fingers underneath the hems of his shirts.
If he can just have this moment with the one person that's come to mean more than anything to him, his anchor in the chaos of Wonderland, then he'll enjoy every second of it. Maybe it'll be the last they have, or maybe it'll just be the first of many to come at the defeat of the Jabberwock. He doesn't know. He just knows that he'll do whatever it takes to keep Stiles safe and to come back to him. ]
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that maybe someday they can go home again, because stiles misses his dad something fierce, every day. but he doesn't really want to go if he can't take his new family with him, the people he'd grown to love. the hole his dad missing left could never be filled, but emma and dean had been there for him in the kind of guidance he'd needed. people he'd barely been close with had become some of his closest friends.
he had derek.
right now, that's all he really needs, too. a minute or two to not think about the core plan. to not think about everything that could go horribly, awfully wrong. he tucks his head a little into the curve of derek's neck and lets out a sigh, his long arms drifting absently to rest on derek's forearms. ] It's the best we can do, I guess.
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[ Turning gently, he nuzzles into his hair with his nose, breathing him in and leaving another soft kiss to his head. As always, he just wants to touch Stiles everywhere, drift his hands across soft skin and leave kisses everywhere. It's become his permanent state of being, like he wants to take advantage of their closeness just to hold fast to the person that he cares about most. Has come to care about as much as he does.
It isn't even sexual, just something pushing on adoring. After everything that's happened, after numerous deaths between them both, he holds onto this as tightly as he can.
And there's one thing, that he's been thinking about for a while now. He squeezes his fingers against Stiles' hip, looking out at the trees as he considers it for a long moment more. ] I wanted to talk to you about something.
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that was for later, though, when the jabberwock was in their sight again. for now, it was off rampaging in the trees, leaving the two of them a moment of quiet as derek mentions talking. and stiles doesn't freak out; his heartbeat barely fidgets as he lolls his head to turn his brown eyed gaze up to his face, raising his eyebrows. ] Shoot.
[ his mind races with the possibilities, but they're not anything bad. ]
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Before, he used to think that you would drown if you entrusted yourself to another person. Now, he thinks he'd drown if he didn't.
Something affectionate enters his expression as Stiles rolls his head aside, looks up at him with those enormous bambi eyes. The years have been long, and the past few weeks especially hard, but there's still that spark there that had drawn him in in the first place. ]
You remember when Isaac, Scott, and Allison asked for me to officiate their marriage? [ There aren't any quotation marks or anything. In his mind, there was nothing unofficial about that union. If his ancestors could do it, considering it binding, then so would he.
He pauses, looks away for him a second as his eyebrows raise, before dropping a pale gaze back to him, almost grey in the dimness of the between place of night and morning. ] Well, Scott cried on you when you said you'd be his best man, so I doubt you'd really forget. Not the point.
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Scott cried through the whole ceremony. Allison was the manliest one there. [ the lopsided smile stays on his face as he finishes his answer, staring at him in return. derek has these eyes that seem to just take in the light--stiles loves them when they're angry and passionate, red-eyed and protective, when they're catching the orange of the sunrise in his bedroom or near pitch dark at night. they're stupidly handsome, like much of derek had been since before their arrival and continued to be, and the sight of them looking at him like that, four years since he'd grabbed stiles' shoulders before he could dart off at dean's first thanksgiving and kissed him until his knees went weak.
four years. it was still hard to believe sometimes. ] Thinking about their anniversary presents? [ it's teasing, quiet. ]
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Expression curling into fond amusement, affection for his pack but love for Stiles, he reaches his hand up and brushes it against the jagged constellation that spans across Stiles' cheek. It's a path that he's taken many times before, will continue to take for as long as they're both alive. And he'll never forget tracing it the first time, in the mansion kitchen as they were surrounded by holiday food and quiet celebration after such a traumatic time.
Leaning in, he brushes his lips against Stiles', eyes half-closed but never leaving that bright, warm whiskey. It's the only thing, besides that stupid purple drink Isaac had gotten out of the closet, that could ever get him drunk. ] No. [ He doesn't pull away as he speaks, just talks against the bow of his lips. ] I want you to marry me.
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for now, though, he could feel derek finding it, the same way he had a thousand times before, and he returns the kiss with faint ease, confusion practically pressed to his mouth, but flutters his eyes shut and doesn't open them again until he drops that bombshell against his mouth. ] --What?
[ his heart does some kind of trapeze work in his chest, a low swoop that nearly punches the air out of him, and he pulls away from derek if only to stare at him, brown eyes huge and wide. ] Like--right now? Can you even do that?
[ it's not a negative answer--it's just stiles, having to ask the questions before he can safely assume. ]
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But he sweeps the thoughts away, and instead replaces them with the feel of his soft skin under calloused touch. "Stars" are right-- they're practically the guiding stars for his life, now.
His eyebrows raise a little in amusement, and he pretends that his heart doesn't clench painfully in his chest. But it's not bad, it's the best feeling he's ever had, something that Stiles can do to him without even a pause between one thought and the next. He'd thought he'd loved Paige so fiercely, but it doesn't hold a candle to this, to anything he feels for a boy with a sharp wit and even sharper mouth, who runs with wolves like he's one of them. ]
Stiles, I married three people at once. I think I can marry us. [ And he wants to, more than anything else. It doesn't matter if it's the last day they'll have together like this or just another day. He figured out pretty fast he wanted Stiles in his life, for as long as he had it. ]
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Yes. [ he blurts it out before he can even think about it more, because he wants it so bad it literally aches in his chest, twists up and explodes into butterflies that threaten to come out of his mouth the way the words do; he jerks out of his grip for a second, but only enough to stare at him, grab his cheeks and look at him, brown eyes searching his face, eyebrows knitted together in something, intense affection maybe.
then, slowly, a grin breaks out over his cheeks, slow and familiar and aching, because he hasn't slept in a couple days and this place has turned into hell, but he found his little piece of heaven out here on guard duty. ] Real romantic for your vows, but I guess no one's counting.
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His hands come up, dragging his shirts up a little before he gets to his ribs, up his shoulders, to his neck. An easier laugh leaves him, and he tips towards him, straight line of his nose brushing into the upturn of Stiles'. ]
You're a pain in my ass. Got under my skin and wound up staying there. [ He traces his thumbs along the line of his jaw as his palms press against either side of his neck, feeling his pulse and just the life in him. ] Don't understand the meaning of the word "no." But I promise to tolerate when you stick your cold feet under my legs, and let you hog the blankets during winter.
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Oh yeah, I don't want to hear it from Mister I Showed Affection Like a Playground Bully. [ he's full on beaming now, giving his cheeks a little squeeze as he talks about his own "vows". ] I promise to always be surprised when you're lurking, and to not shove you out of the bed when you start snoring in my ear.
[ he thumbs at derek's cheekbone, just above his beard, and softens immediately, something heavy and warm in his chest when he leans forward a little and presses their foreheads together, just long enough to get out what he's trying to say. ] ...I promise not to use you. [ and to lighten it just a little-- ] Not even to get free drinks at a bar because of your ridiculous muscles.
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But as he presses their foreheads together, the expression goes from warm and amused to something twisting in his chest, and it shows on his face. Because for years now, he's never thought that Stiles would ever use him. Maybe he was afraid that he would finally get smart about him, actually leave, but he never once in the history of their stay of Wonderland thought that he would use him.
The corner of his mouth twitches as he lightens it, and he touches his face again, fingers broad and warm and cradling his face. ] I promise I will see you through everything. Anchor for an anchor. [ He doesn't lighten it. ]
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It's not like he ever thought about it. He knew, now, knew about Jennifer. Kate. Paige. Everything that had happened in Derek's scarred history had been what made him so terrified to take the first steps forward, that he didn't just want to be his next mistake. But it hadn't been so much as a step as a leap, and five years later, he was getting the feeling that maybe this hadn't even been close to a mistake from the very start.
He wasn't in need of an anchor like Derek was, but sometimes--sometimes there was something that felt like darkness breathing on the very edge of his soul. And Derek was always, always there to chase it back away.
He lets go of his cheeks, finally, dropping his arm on Derek's shoulders and giving him a lopsided smile. ] 'ssthat all you've gotta do to make it official, then, alpha mine?
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Partially, anyways. Stiles has learned about his past, through his own snooping and Derek telling him the truth. Confirming that what Peter told him was, for the most part, entirely true. And that he'd been right, when he thought he figured out everything from Kate's file, the papers about the fire, Derek's reactions to her name and memories she'd left on him years later. The lack of memories when it came to being around Jennifer, until Stiles and Scott came to his loft and told him she was the one, she was the darach. He's seen everything and he's still here.
And he returns it in kind, refuses to go anywhere when something dark hedges its way into Stiles' life, grasps at his heart and tries to take him. He'd been in the dark for nearly a decade-- he knows his way around it now. Knows how to lead Stiles out of it. ]
By the power vested in me, as an alpha of the Wonderland wolf pack and a descendent of the Hales... [ He tips forward, pressing his lips to the curve of Stiles' chin first in a faint smile, a million meanings in one gesture. ] Consider the wolf marriage finalized and signed in triplicate.
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[ Which is so sarcastic, they'd had this whole talk about this before. Stiles' grin doubles a little at the chin kiss, when he tilts his head upwards to allow him into his space, and something warm drips straight down to his toes at the words that come out of his mouth. It should be ridiculous; it's not. It's private, it didn't need a ceremony like Scott did. (Maybe when they get back to Beacon Hills, so his dad could be involved.)
It's the first real smile he's put on all week, from dealing with the plan on the core, and he presses forward and pulls him in by the front of his shirt, for a deep, obviously pleased kiss. ]
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The kiss to his chin turns into a bit of a nip, but nothing sharp or actually reprimanding. Just playful affection, further teasing between the two of them. Especially in this moment, warm before dawn in a private corner of their world when something is rampaging beyond them. And if that isn't the most fitting marriage for them, he doesn't know what would be. A ceremony can come later-- and he's of the same mind, because they'll find a way back, they'll remember everything even if they have to claw at the memories, they'll share this with the sheriff-- and they can tell the rest of the pack then.
The moment sinks into his chest, spreads warmth all throughout him, and practically burns at the smile on Stiles' face. There's no resistance as he pulls, Derek just following his gravity and kissing him, deep and sweet and just as warm as he feels. ]
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The bite isn't even bothersome--it's pretty par for the course for Derek, and he lets go of him to run a hand up into his hair instead, holding him in place as he kisses him slowly but surely, opening his mouth into his and and letting his eyes flutter shut. He can get lost in Derek, in the warmth his arms create and the sound of his voice, and forget about the Jabberwocky for a little while.
When he finally pulls away, it's to fidget back and turn around, so he's facing him, then cup his face again, gently, and murmur against his mouth. ] Love you, big guy.
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A pleased noise rumbles in his chest as he runs his hand into his hair, his fingers sliding up and into Stiles' own unruly bedhead. His expression is still warm, curled into a smile, even as he kisses him. It's deep and open, languid, and all he knows for a little while is Stiles. There isn't a need to patrol the grounds, or look out at the forest. It's just him and Stiles, and all his senses know is him. The beat of his heart in his ears, the taste of him, his scent-- so mingled with Derek's that they're one and the same.
His legs part a little more as Stiles fidgets around, letting him move freely before his hands are on him again, bringing the blankets up around his shoulders, the back of his head. Giving him a hood and a smile against his lips. ] Love you, too.
matchies uwu
What big eyes you have. [ You were asking for this, Derek, you really were. The grin on his face goes a little manic, just because it's obvious that he's enjoying this. Technically, he just got married, and it's practically the apocalypse here. He is completely allowed to make horrible sex jokes with the intention of getting laid in the future, red riding hood allegories included. ]
many much matchies
All the better to see you with. [ He was, but he's not even complaining. For as much hell as he gives Stiles for the horrible sex jokes, there are times where he plays along, wordlessly admitting that he doesn't mind them as much as he pretends. Post-marriage is entirely one of those times. His fingers shift up, sliding under the blankets and curling in his shirt. Eyebrows twitching upwards, just this side of suggestive, he cracks a wolfish smile at him. ]
one thread to soothe the pain ;__;
[ And kisses him, but he can't help the way he just snorts into the kiss, making a pffffft noise and breaking into a full out grin against his mouth, until he's laughing and he has to drop his head on his shoulder, because that was seriously ridiculous, and seriously, he is not that lame.
(Except you know if he responds it's actually kind of hot, but shh, that's a secret.) ]
One thread to kill you for another reason entirely.
The kiss is sloppy and stupid, but it's perfect, and his shoulders shake underneath Stiles' head as he laughs openly. Because this is ridiculous, Stiles is ridiculous, but this is where he's placed his affections and he absolutely wouldn't put them anywhere else.
Still, he turns his head, mouthing against the spot below Stiles' ear, and murmurs back: ] All the better to fuck you with.
yells
[ ...but still. He lifts his head up from where he's tucked into his neck and kisses him again, raising his eyebrows, and speaking in a low voice. ] Are we reaaaaaaally gonna do this right now?
[ Not that they haven't before but. ] Y'know. Consummate. Make the beast with two backs. Bump uglies. Get jiggy with it.
laughs
Derek tips his chin up to return the kiss, expression curled into amusement as he lays against the roof, looking up at him in the quiet before the storm. ] Stiles.
[ Not this again. ]
facehands
Poor baby.
right in the unicorn senses
No guilt.
cries ;___;
smooches top of head
buries face in
There there precious unicorn.
cradles remains of unicorn horn
lets you hold onto them for now
the vestiges of my innocence ;__;
Barely anything left at this point tbh.
it will only be completely gone when i can type big girl words and not look away
Someday.