[ There's a moment of searing pain and his body arches, he sees white, and then after that, there's nothing.
He doesn't come to for almost two hours as his heart monitor continues to beat, steady in the night despite Stiles' stone cold posture. He barely moves in the two hours, except for a thin stream of black that drips out of his nose--it could be his body rejecting the bite, or the bite rejecting the cancer. Whatever it is, he's eerily still until, finally, his eyes snap open and he takes in a gasping breath. The color's mostly returned to his cheeks--started to about ten minutes ago, and he looks from left to right in a quick, jerky movement, then down at his shoulder, where the mark's still bright red, unable to heal while his body's still trying to force out the cancer.
His first words are, naturally, very Stiles. ] Oh my god.
[ For two hours, Derek stays seated on the bed in the hospital room. He should get up, tell Melissa that Stiles is taking the bite, that she needs to be ready just in case. But he doesn't move, eyes flicking from Stiles' face to his heart monitor and back at random intervals, reaching his hand up to swipe his thumb beneath his nose to wipe away the dark oil that signals rejection.
He hopes, with every fiber of his being, that it's the cancer being pushed out.
Very nearly jolting, he braces his hand against his upper arm to make sure he doesn't whip himself out of bed by accident. Considering it's Stiles, and he suddenly has some of his strength back, it's incredibly possible. But relief settles over him, because he's conscious, and he isn't bleeding black or puking it up. ] Jesus, Stiles.
[ Which was a smart move, because Stiles suddenly having actual control over his limbs makes Stiles move them. When he jerks forward he gets tangled up in the sheets, and if it wasn't for Derek's hand on his arm, he'd be on the floor.
Staring at him with huge, bambi brown eyes, he gets hit with the first wave of senses, smell, something sickly sweet and then something that has to be Derek, a woodsy flower and leather and petrichor and about a million other things at once--he can smell the night nurse's coffee from down the hall, jesus, hear the sound of the nurses walking around and he shakes his head to try and clear it away.
Holy shit, he's alive. That's the first thing that hits him, like a freight train. He can breathe again, and it doesn't feel like his lungs are on fire. Like he could get up and run and jump around, play lacrosse, like he could sit up for more than ten minutes at a time. The force of it, the realization, that he's going to be okay, that his dad'll be okay, hits him so hard it brings tears to his eyes, and he's torn between a smile and aching relief, unbelievably vulnerable and thrilled and terrified all at once. ] Oh my god.
[ Those stupid bambi eyes are what kill him a little, but Derek's too overwhelmed with the sense of relief that he feels a rush of warmth instead of something sinking like he has since Stiles' sickness started to set in. Instead of saying anything for a moment, he just-- he watches him, as he takes in his newfound senses and his renewed strength.
The cancer isn't completely gone, not with such strong traces of the scent still lingering on him, but it's progress. It's something. Stiles is alive and he's not wasting away in a goddamn hospital bed. His expression breaks out into a smile, something honest and real in response to the torn one on Stiles' face.
He brings his hands up and cradles Stiles' face in his hands, sweeping his thumbs under his eyes and across warmed cheeks, almost as if he could wipe away tears and the dark rings that had become a permanent mask for so damn long. ] Welcome back.
[ It changes to reflect Derek's after a minute, all teeth, so bright he has to close his eyes and tilt his head into his hands, like he's fighting off the tears in his eyes before he pulls them open again. It's obvious he can't just get up--his strength isn't coming back that quickly, and he's going to be cleaning up gross black werewolf vomit for forever, but it doesn't matter, because Stiles is on his way to a cure, and fast.
There's a new instinct to press their foreheads together, and he does, even if it's just for a few minutes before he pulls away, looking around and sniffing at the air. ] How do you guys even stand this?! Jesus, I think I can smell my neighbors bedpan. Eugh, oh my god.
[ He even makes an exaggerate gesture of plugging his nose. Someone's enjoying having his strength coming back. ]
[ Already, even under the sickly sweet smell that's been haunting Stiles for months now, he can smell the juniper twist just beneath his skin. It's not so much that he's been scentmarked by it, now, but more that it's finally sunken in. He breathes it in, even if that means there's the overwhelming sterility and wrongness of the hospital all around them.
Drawing his hands back as Stiles breaks contact between their foreheads, he starts to laugh at him as he complains and plugs his nose. Simply because he can laugh again; tired as it is, it's still honest and quietly happy. ]
We learn to filter it so we're not overwhelmed, but we're not completely in the dark.
That sounds unnecessarily complicated. I'd like my humanity back now please. [ He's joking, at least, and even if Derek's laughing at him, he's still laughing, and that's the kind of sound Stiles wants to hold onto forever after the past year.
Letting go of his nose, he turns his hands over in his lap, looking at them--if he were a badass, he'd yank out the needle of the IV, but the idea makes his stomach churn and he just lets it go, curling his fists instead and watching his veins slowly filtering black at his wrists, pushing the cancer out of his system. It's slow and probably going to take forever, but it's such a wondrous thing that he wants to stare, try to take in about suddenly being one of the lycanthropes after all. ]
Sorry, no refunds or exchanges. [ Well, Derek is laughing at him and simply laughing, the weight of death and worry and guilt lifted away from his shoulders for a day. (He ignores the fact that there could very well be technical exchanges, given that an alpha can take a beta, because he doesn't really like that thought generally. Now? Even less.)
Raising a brow as he watches the black in his veins, he chuffs something soft before he reaches a hand out to set over where the needle is taped in place, overlapping and hiding it away from sight for a moment. He slips the fingers of his other hand down, using the first to take the edge off and to keep Stiles from feeling and seeing it as he peels the tape away and pulls the IV out. ]
Guess I'll get used to it. Might as well enjoy the supernatural perks in the meantime. [ Stiles doesn't watch as Derek pulls the IV out, because he would honestly probably throw up if he did, and instead watches Derek's face instead. His sharpened senses can pick up on so much more than before--the sound of his breathing, the smell of Derek and then something else, that smells like the air after a storm, overwhelmingly of relief. That's what they meant by the smelling emotions thing, probably, and Stiles makes a mental note to coerce Scott into sharing this with him later through Titanic or something.
As the IV finally comes out, he reaches over and quietly covers Derek's hands with his own. It's not the biggest gesture or anything, but he's okay, his pulse rushing under his fingers instead of staggering along, and he'd like to show that to him--remind him that it's okay now, that it's gonna be okay. The cancer's still being pushed out of his body--he keeps sniffling black goo, which is disgusting--but it's going. It's not like Gerard. It's working. ]
We'll help you figure it out. [ Smoothing his thumb over where the IV had been in his vein, Derek lets his veins fill with black for a brief moment. At least it'll help ease some more of his pain, on top of the sting from the needle, but as Stiles covers his hands he flicks his eyes up to him. Pale and clear, he searches his face for a second, and he sees something in him that draws him back, brings the heavy weight of guilt (and the air after the storm being filled ever so slightly with smog).
But he turns his hands over, curls his fingers with Stiles' as his eyes drop down again to look at them. There's color in Stiles' skin again, something that soothes the alpha an exceptional amount. Enough that maybe the smog fades as he bows his head forward, pressing their foreheads again and closing his eyes. ]
I regret everything. [ No, he actually doesn't, and it's obvious in the crooked quirk at the corner of his mouth. ]
[ He doesn't complain much when Derek shifts into his space; rather, Stiles just looks at him from under his dark eyelashes, mouth shifting into a small grin to match Derek's. He's happy, he's alive, he can make stupid comments without the twist of dark humor on the side, and, well, he wasn't exactly planning on becoming a werewolf, but he'd take it over being dead anyday. Still graduate college. Still have a life.
Just turn into a rage monster every once in a while.
But Stiles is starting to think that he won't have a lot of trouble finding his anchor, anyway. He finds where their fingers are twined together and responds, crooning. ] Noooo you don't, because you literally cannot imagine your life without me. I'm a gift like that. [ He is teasing. Really. ]
You're like a fungus. [ Except he doesn't argue the rest of it, doesn't say that he could actually imagine his life without Stiles. Because Derek has lost everyone that he's ever cared about-- lost the girl he first loved, lost family and pack because of the woman that swooped into his life after his eyes bled blue, lost his sister and his uncle in one strike, lost more and more pack-- and yet somehow, somehow, Stiles had managed to weasel in under his skin. Into his bloodstream.
And he never wants to imagine losing him, too.
He opens his eyes again, looking back at those damn, bright amber eyes, and everything in him softens. Because there's life in them again, that intelligent spark is back, that fire that makes Stiles who he is. ]
I'm an edible fungus, thanks. [ That was an awful joke, Stiles. But also kind of true. In this metaphor, he's the good fungus, not the disease causing kind, thank you. Which could really put him on this whole other tangent of why do we eat fungus, anyway, and you know what, he's just going to stop that train of thought before it derails completely.
The little grin widens into something bigger, more honest, and he sniffles a little, unable to hide the happiness on his face. And for just a second, those amber brown eyes flash, like he's trying to figure out how to make it work--but instead of going gold, they're bright red. ] Just now I'm a deliciously edible fungus with sharp claws and big nasty fangs.
[ That was a terrible joke, yeah. But Derek still laughs, abrupt and in that way that clearly says why did you say that. He doesn't need to know what Stiles' thinking to know that his brain has gone off on a completely different tangent, but at least he comes back to him intact from it.
Raising his eyebrows against Stiles', the alpha lets his own lopsided smile widen, straighten a little with the corners of his mouth quirking downward in honesty. Relieved, content, happy, it all suddenly fades in the face of surprise when Stiles flashes his eyes. He's expecting something gold, goldenrod or ochre or almost bronze.
What he gets is red, and whatever he has to say in response is derailed for a moment. When it comes back, he's looking at Stiles oddly, and the joke isn't quite there as it should be. ] You tasted like teenager.
[ Stiles blinks. ] What? Is something wrong with my face?
[ Absently, he does pull away from Derek a little and reach up to touch his own face, feel his nose--he comes away with another line of fresh black goop and mutters ] Oh, ew, disgusting. [ Before wiping his hand off on his hospital sheets. That must have been it. ] How long is this going to go on?
And for the record, taking a bite out of the meat of my shoulder is totally not taste d' Stiles, okay. [ He reaches up and rubs the bitemark, which is still there, waiting to heal while his body's still trying to push out all of the cancer. ] Your palate's just off.
[ Sure, that was it Stiles. Derek watches him, before bringing his hands up to cup his chin in one of them. The other reaches to brush away the rest of the black goop, unfazed by having it on his fingers. But he follows Stiles' lead, brushing it off on his hospital sheets but not quite pulling away from where he's touching the new wolf. ]
A while. Week, at least. [ He scans his face, before his eyes drop down to the bitemark on the meat of his shoulder. It causes his skin to bristle a little, almost like a chill rushes up the back of his neck, and he has to push down a sudden impulse that hits him. (Nevermind that it's hit him before, but he's ignoring that, too.) ]
What would you suggest for taste d' Stiles. [ His tone is dry, but he looks up from under his brow at him, brow raising slowly. ]
Ew, awesome. I'm like a freakin' Exxon oil penguin. [ He sniffles again and lets Derek wipe away at his face, not really complaining at his tactility--something he's more or less used to at this point--even if it does give a chance for his mind to water. All things considered, he's not feeling particularly...obedient, or any different than usual. Even as Derek flickers to look at the bite, he just follows him down instead. The wound's kind of disgusting and he manages a - ] Jesus, ew.
[ Before pulling his face away to let Derek. Yeah. Stick to the wound examining. He does wiggle his eyebrows when Derek looks at him again, though, and grins. ] Probably something that doesn't involve flesh wounds.
Better than Gerard. At least we know that you'll actually stop leaking oil. [ Or so Derek is hoping. He's certain that if his eyes are flashing red, though, that he'll heal just fine and he'll stop oozing black bile once the cancer's out of his system. The wound'll heal when he gets the majority of his sickness out, but for now... well, they should probably clean that and bandage it up. ] We'll get Melissa to come patch you up.
[ Going from his lingering confusion to amusement again, he lets red flare into his eyes. It's not meant to be aggressive or commanding, but... something else entirely. A response to his wiggling eyebrows. ] Noted.
Please don't ever compare me to Gerard ever again. Like ever. [ Shudder. That's a gross though. Scott's mom, however, isn't, and he looks at the intercom beside his bed for a minute, hand creeping over to find the remote for it.
He hesitates on pressing the button when Derek flashes his eyes at him though, and Stiles can't help the affectionate look on his face in return. ] Ooh, terrifying. Totally waiting on you to get a taste of this delicious buffet of teenagedom here. [ He gestures up and down his body, and wipes his nose for emphasis. That was sarcastic. ]
[ Which is also kind of totally a front for how many thoughts that kicked up, and yeah, when Stiles isn't leaking black goop and healing from what's basically his deathbed, he's going to act on that. Probably. Maybe. If he can get his courage up. He's still hesitating over the button, though, like waiting for something to happen. ]
[ Amusement in every line of his face, he tries not to laugh at him in response to his reaction. Not that he can blame him, given how disgusting Gerard is in general, nevermind when he's oozing black everywhere. At least Melissa is an adequate distraction, even as he watches him with red eyes.
The amusement shifts into a return of affection, an interesting contrast to those alpha reds of his. But their eyes aren't always in challenge or aggression, aren't just exclusive to the negatives. He feels such a fierce warmth towards Stiles, which surprises him more and more every day. ]
I'll take a raincheck for when you're better. [ Rising from his seated position, he bows his head in towards Stiles and presses his lips against the top of his head, brief but softer than the first he left before issuing the bite. The red fades from his eyes finally, and he moves to turn towards the door. ]
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He doesn't come to for almost two hours as his heart monitor continues to beat, steady in the night despite Stiles' stone cold posture. He barely moves in the two hours, except for a thin stream of black that drips out of his nose--it could be his body rejecting the bite, or the bite rejecting the cancer. Whatever it is, he's eerily still until, finally, his eyes snap open and he takes in a gasping breath. The color's mostly returned to his cheeks--started to about ten minutes ago, and he looks from left to right in a quick, jerky movement, then down at his shoulder, where the mark's still bright red, unable to heal while his body's still trying to force out the cancer.
His first words are, naturally, very Stiles. ] Oh my god.
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He hopes, with every fiber of his being, that it's the cancer being pushed out.
Very nearly jolting, he braces his hand against his upper arm to make sure he doesn't whip himself out of bed by accident. Considering it's Stiles, and he suddenly has some of his strength back, it's incredibly possible. But relief settles over him, because he's conscious, and he isn't bleeding black or puking it up. ] Jesus, Stiles.
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Staring at him with huge, bambi brown eyes, he gets hit with the first wave of senses, smell, something sickly sweet and then something that has to be Derek, a woodsy flower and leather and petrichor and about a million other things at once--he can smell the night nurse's coffee from down the hall, jesus, hear the sound of the nurses walking around and he shakes his head to try and clear it away.
Holy shit, he's alive. That's the first thing that hits him, like a freight train. He can breathe again, and it doesn't feel like his lungs are on fire. Like he could get up and run and jump around, play lacrosse, like he could sit up for more than ten minutes at a time. The force of it, the realization, that he's going to be okay, that his dad'll be okay, hits him so hard it brings tears to his eyes, and he's torn between a smile and aching relief, unbelievably vulnerable and thrilled and terrified all at once. ] Oh my god.
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The cancer isn't completely gone, not with such strong traces of the scent still lingering on him, but it's progress. It's something. Stiles is alive and he's not wasting away in a goddamn hospital bed. His expression breaks out into a smile, something honest and real in response to the torn one on Stiles' face.
He brings his hands up and cradles Stiles' face in his hands, sweeping his thumbs under his eyes and across warmed cheeks, almost as if he could wipe away tears and the dark rings that had become a permanent mask for so damn long. ] Welcome back.
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There's a new instinct to press their foreheads together, and he does, even if it's just for a few minutes before he pulls away, looking around and sniffing at the air. ] How do you guys even stand this?! Jesus, I think I can smell my neighbors bedpan. Eugh, oh my god.
[ He even makes an exaggerate gesture of plugging his nose. Someone's enjoying having his strength coming back. ]
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Drawing his hands back as Stiles breaks contact between their foreheads, he starts to laugh at him as he complains and plugs his nose. Simply because he can laugh again; tired as it is, it's still honest and quietly happy. ]
We learn to filter it so we're not overwhelmed, but we're not completely in the dark.
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Letting go of his nose, he turns his hands over in his lap, looking at them--if he were a badass, he'd yank out the needle of the IV, but the idea makes his stomach churn and he just lets it go, curling his fists instead and watching his veins slowly filtering black at his wrists, pushing the cancer out of his system. It's slow and probably going to take forever, but it's such a wondrous thing that he wants to stare, try to take in about suddenly being one of the lycanthropes after all. ]
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Raising a brow as he watches the black in his veins, he chuffs something soft before he reaches a hand out to set over where the needle is taped in place, overlapping and hiding it away from sight for a moment. He slips the fingers of his other hand down, using the first to take the edge off and to keep Stiles from feeling and seeing it as he peels the tape away and pulls the IV out. ]
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As the IV finally comes out, he reaches over and quietly covers Derek's hands with his own. It's not the biggest gesture or anything, but he's okay, his pulse rushing under his fingers instead of staggering along, and he'd like to show that to him--remind him that it's okay now, that it's gonna be okay. The cancer's still being pushed out of his body--he keeps sniffling black goo, which is disgusting--but it's going. It's not like Gerard. It's working. ]
You're not rid of me yet, Hale.
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But he turns his hands over, curls his fingers with Stiles' as his eyes drop down again to look at them. There's color in Stiles' skin again, something that soothes the alpha an exceptional amount. Enough that maybe the smog fades as he bows his head forward, pressing their foreheads again and closing his eyes. ]
I regret everything. [ No, he actually doesn't, and it's obvious in the crooked quirk at the corner of his mouth. ]
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Just turn into a rage monster every once in a while.
But Stiles is starting to think that he won't have a lot of trouble finding his anchor, anyway. He finds where their fingers are twined together and responds, crooning. ] Noooo you don't, because you literally cannot imagine your life without me. I'm a gift like that. [ He is teasing. Really. ]
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And he never wants to imagine losing him, too.
He opens his eyes again, looking back at those damn, bright amber eyes, and everything in him softens. Because there's life in them again, that intelligent spark is back, that fire that makes Stiles who he is. ]
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The little grin widens into something bigger, more honest, and he sniffles a little, unable to hide the happiness on his face. And for just a second, those amber brown eyes flash, like he's trying to figure out how to make it work--but instead of going gold, they're bright red. ] Just now I'm a deliciously edible fungus with sharp claws and big nasty fangs.
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Raising his eyebrows against Stiles', the alpha lets his own lopsided smile widen, straighten a little with the corners of his mouth quirking downward in honesty. Relieved, content, happy, it all suddenly fades in the face of surprise when Stiles flashes his eyes. He's expecting something gold, goldenrod or ochre or almost bronze.
What he gets is red, and whatever he has to say in response is derailed for a moment. When it comes back, he's looking at Stiles oddly, and the joke isn't quite there as it should be. ] You tasted like teenager.
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[ Absently, he does pull away from Derek a little and reach up to touch his own face, feel his nose--he comes away with another line of fresh black goop and mutters ] Oh, ew, disgusting. [ Before wiping his hand off on his hospital sheets. That must have been it. ] How long is this going to go on?
And for the record, taking a bite out of the meat of my shoulder is totally not taste d' Stiles, okay. [ He reaches up and rubs the bitemark, which is still there, waiting to heal while his body's still trying to push out all of the cancer. ] Your palate's just off.
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A while. Week, at least. [ He scans his face, before his eyes drop down to the bitemark on the meat of his shoulder. It causes his skin to bristle a little, almost like a chill rushes up the back of his neck, and he has to push down a sudden impulse that hits him. (Nevermind that it's hit him before, but he's ignoring that, too.) ]
What would you suggest for taste d' Stiles. [ His tone is dry, but he looks up from under his brow at him, brow raising slowly. ]
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[ Before pulling his face away to let Derek. Yeah. Stick to the wound examining. He does wiggle his eyebrows when Derek looks at him again, though, and grins. ] Probably something that doesn't involve flesh wounds.
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[ Going from his lingering confusion to amusement again, he lets red flare into his eyes. It's not meant to be aggressive or commanding, but... something else entirely. A response to his wiggling eyebrows. ] Noted.
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He hesitates on pressing the button when Derek flashes his eyes at him though, and Stiles can't help the affectionate look on his face in return. ] Ooh, terrifying. Totally waiting on you to get a taste of this delicious buffet of teenagedom here. [ He gestures up and down his body, and wipes his nose for emphasis. That was sarcastic. ]
[ Which is also kind of totally a front for how many thoughts that kicked up, and yeah, when Stiles isn't leaking black goop and healing from what's basically his deathbed, he's going to act on that. Probably. Maybe. If he can get his courage up. He's still hesitating over the button, though, like waiting for something to happen. ]
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The amusement shifts into a return of affection, an interesting contrast to those alpha reds of his. But their eyes aren't always in challenge or aggression, aren't just exclusive to the negatives. He feels such a fierce warmth towards Stiles, which surprises him more and more every day. ]
I'll take a raincheck for when you're better. [ Rising from his seated position, he bows his head in towards Stiles and presses his lips against the top of his head, brief but softer than the first he left before issuing the bite. The red fades from his eyes finally, and he moves to turn towards the door. ]