laography | i've drowned and dreamt this moment

[ He fell head over heels for a brat, that's all there is to it.

But he's not really complaining, and he hasn't been for a while now.

Bringing his hand down further, Derek takes it and presses the heel of his palm down to the front of Stiles' pants at the same time he rocks up to meet him, keeping their foreheads together as he does. It's half revenge, half simply wanting to hear and see Stiles more, watch his reaction. Same as he even did in fights, or when they were faking it.

But now, there's a raw honestly in the way he kisses him, every emotion he can't quite vocalize some days being shared in touch. ]

[ Stiles kind of resigned himself to falling in love with an asshole, so it all evens out. Not that he regrets it, though--Stiles probably, honestly, couldn't handle someone who was flat out Nice. (It'd be like dating Scott, and that'd just be weird.)

The hand coming down between them makes his eyes flutter open for a second and a gasp escape his mouth, pressing close to him and jerking his hips up into the pressure. He pushes back into the kiss, dives back in--it's amazing how badly he missed something he really, in the first place, wasn't supposed to have.

Not just the sex, as great as that was. Derek himself, waking up beside him, watching his stupid workouts and the way he made faces at every single baby they ever passed (and they always, always smiled at him) catching him singing in the kitchen when he came home from a shift. ]

[ There was just something about Stiles from the very moment that they'd met. Derek knew right off that he might have found him infuriating, but at the same time he was also fairly attracted to him-- physically and mentally-- despite it all. He just didn't expect to also become emotionally attracted to him, even after months living and working together. He'd tried to resist and deny it, but in the end? He'd just decided to accept it, because it'd been right and it'd been such a long time since anything ever felt right for him.

From the way Stiles fit against him in the morning, making it hard for him to want to get out of bed. The way he loved Laura, and how much she loved him back. How he fidgeted when he was reading, tracing out the pattern of moles below his ear. The way his eyes lit up any time he was angry, or when he was so happy he could barely contain it.

How his long fingers danced over his Mac as if it was a piano, not a keyboard, and how they fit in his hand the way they did.

He leans in, tipping his head to kiss him as he applies more pressure, using his other hand to leverage Stiles closer along the curve of his ass as he does. The sex was amazing, but it was only that way because of everything behind it. The build up of tension that lead to their feelings coming to light, and the way that they just grew, exponentially, especially when the risk of losing it all hit them both.

Derek missed this, and everything it was. ]

[ In that same vein, yeah, Stiles was half terrified and half irritated by everything Derek did when they first met. He was brutish and irritating and seemed to know just how to get on the quartermaster's nerves, but after a while, that opinion evolved, with fake kisses and fake friends, to someone who didn't--get Stiles, no one ever got him, but got to him. Someone who laughed at his stupid jokes (sometimes), someone who put up with his obsessions and his rantings and staying up until four AM writing code on his Mac because he couldn't sleep. Someone who paid attention, someone who listened.

That's what he had always needed, and he'd had it, only to have it ripped away when it finally started working beyond a fake marriage. Stiles wasn't planning on letting it go now that he'd gotten it back--he's notoriously stubborn, particularly when it comes to his agent.

His fingers squeeze in his hair, just a little, as between his hands the pressure gets so good it makes his head spin; he makes a noise, drops his hands down in between them, starting to get antsy, because he's Stiles. ] Come on, pants.

[ Their start had a been a rocky one, one that started straight off the bat with tension that was based on both attraction and frustration. Buttons had been pressed, biting words had been exchanged-- were still exchanged, sometimes-- but they had found something. And it was something he wasn't going to let go of, any time soon. Not when it became more real than anything Derek has ever known in his life, before and after the death of his family.

Maybe he didn't completely get Stiles, but he was pretty sure he was fluent enough to get somewhere. After hours of listening to rantings, indulging or tolerating obsessions, pillowing his head against his thigh and watching lines of code scroll across a screen that was the only source of light.

This was his life. This was what he'd wanted without ever realizing it.

Bowing his head away from Stiles', he presses a kiss-- then a soft bite-- against the meat of his shoulder before he slides both hands around to start undoing Stiles' pants with deft fingers. Stiles doesn't have to ask twice, just has to direct him and he's more than happy to answer. ] Up.

Bossing me around now? [ He can't help the grin the spreads across his face as Derek instantly gets what he's getting at; he lifts his hips up to help Derek get at his pants, but that doesn't mean he doesn't instantly reach down to try and do the exact same thing, probably complicating matters further, but that's okay.

One of his favorite things about Derek has always been how in tune they were. It'd gone from a spark and gasoline to a partnership, from dancing around each other in the kitchen to running through missions and the intricacies of their double life. It didn't matter what it came down to--by the end of his time in Beacon Hills, Stiles could tell you almost anything about Derek, and trust him to do the same.

Just with some arguing first, typically. Bantering, maybe. Mostly because a part of Stiles still enjoyed getting on Derek's nerves--hitting all of his buttons. And in more ways than one. ]

Always. [ He snorts a little in response to the grin, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of Stiles' boxers so he can take them down with his pants. It's just easier that way, especially since Stiles is trying to get his hands on his sweatpants to free him of them. But that's just going to tangle them together, and he tips his head to nip at his mouth as a quick distraction.

Maybe they butt heads more often that not at the start, and still did every now and then, but it had been easy for him to fall in step with Stiles once they found the right path. And from there it had all been easier, had left him wondering how he'd gotten through much of his life as an agent without Stiles as his quartermaster. They worked so well together, from the mundane to their mission, and Derek is strangely at peace with the fact that Stiles knows practically everything about him now.

This was his life, and he would fight to come back to it every time. Because as infuriating as Stiles could get sometimes, he was his. And he lived to hit all of Stiles' buttons in turn. ]

That totally doesn't--mfrtht. Fly. [ Grumble grumble. ] Control freak.

[ He lifts his hands out of the way to let Derek deal with his pants--the grumbling's obviously good natured, and he wiggles his hips a little to let him continue his path, resting his long fingers on his shoulders and chancing a bite near his jawline, satisfied with making Derek's life as difficult as possible through distraction.

That and it gave him something else to think about besides holy shit, naked in Derek Hale's lap.

Which--it's not even the first time, either. But there's something kind of special about this, about today; maybe later, he can joke that this is "thank god we survived" sex. But it kind of is, ultimately. The hole that Derek had left was getting stitched back up, slowly but surely, with every stupid joke and back-and-forth banter. ]

You like it.

[ Tilting his head to let Stiles place a bite against his jaw, he lets a growl roll out of him in response, predatory and entirely fitting of his many namesakes. But even as he does, a little bit distracted, he works on pulling Stiles' pants down from his hips and down along his thighs. It's a bit of a precarious position to get them down the rest of the way, but he knows that there'll be some sort of help from his end.

Unless of course he actually doesn't want them off, but he doubts that.

It's partially the past cases where he's had a lapful of naked Stiles, but it's not just that. This isn't even about sex right now, either, though there's the bonus of it. To him, it's about having Stiles close to him again, about being able to relish in the contact between them. He's been without it for so long-- and a month without Stiles Stilinski really is far too long-- that he could be just as content simply holding him there. ]

No, I totally like being able to do things--myself. [ As usual, he continues to complain, but it's kind of a front at this point. Stiles takes the cue when he gets them down off his thighs, and kicks the pants the rest of the way off, wiggling back and getting right to work on returning the favor.

He can make a bunch of quips about how unfair it is that he's the one naked, here, but honestly, it just comes down to the fact that he'd appreciate the skin to skin contact--appreciate finding a part of Derek's body that hadn't been bruised and battered. He gets his hands in Derek's sweats and pulls them down as quick as possible, then clambers back into his lap, settling on the feeling of warm skin on skin for a moment, running his fingers up into Derek's hair and grinning at him, a little unabashed. ] Hi.

Of course you do. [ And he knows it. Knows that Stiles complains just for the sake of complaining now, just like they both snark for the sake of snark. Derek sits back and watches him remove the pants the rest of the way, enjoying the fact he can do that again.

When Stiles goes to pull his sweats down, he shifts up so that he can pull them down without difficulty, cooperating far more than he has in the past. (Honestly, it's fun to just give Stiles hell, but right now? He wants that contact just as much.) He tips his head up once he's resettled in his lap, lips brushing across his chin as they quirk into a slow grin back. ]

Hi. [ His fingers slowly slip up along his thighs, relishing in the warmth of skin as he goes to settle them on his hips again. ]

Don't patronize me, wolfman. [ It's falsely threatening, but Stiles just gets comfortable, slides his arms around his shoulders, and relishes for a minute. Sure, there are about a thousand different things he wants to be doing, things he definitely could be doing right now, but for just a second, Stiles drops his head and rests his cheek against his shoulder, breathing in deep.

He's alive. They made it out of every rocky path, made it free of enough life threatening missions and kept a hold on each other--maybe Stiles deserves a little time to remind himself that this is real again, that Derek's not going anywhere, that he's still the same snarky asshole he fell in love with almost a year ago.

It's nice, just to tuck his face in his neck and mumble against his skin, wrap his limbs around him like a sloth and hold on tight, which is exactly what he's doing. It's not the most perfect position for sex (but all things considered, Derek's probably going to tip them over any minute), but for right now, it's all he needs. ]

M'your husband, I'm allowed to patronize. [ Murmuring against Stiles' shoulder, Derek pretends that something in his chest doesn't clench as he says that. Because it immediately takes his mind to the simple, velvet box that's in the top drawer of his nightstand. The one that he's had on him for two months, just waiting for the right moment to bring it out. And he'd been wanting to, once he finished this most recent mission.

And that most recent mission went straight to hell.

Slowly slipping his arms around Stiles, taking a moment to bask in the warmth and familiar spice of Stiles' body, that end of summer sunshine, he breathes him in and closes his eyes. He will, most definitely, roll them over in due time. But all he wants is Stiles right now, to fix that loss that he'd been dealing with for a month. ]

Missed you. [ His lips brush across his shoulder, a comparatively chaste kiss compared to their earlier ones. ]

I don't think that excuse flies anymore. [ Although the response is sarcastic and he grins, snickering mischeviously, it's obviously something to think about. Sure, they'd been. Fake married, for a little while, and Stiles had gotten used to that idea. Gotten used to Derek, moved in with him when that mission finally ended, so much that they went right back to how they'd been acting before. It wasn't fake, it hadn't been for a long time, and the idea of actually making that a real thing wasn't lost on Stiles at all. If he asked? He'd say yes in a heartbeat.

It's nice to sit here and bask in the contact; there's a line of warmth where their skin is touching, and he curls his arms a little around Derek's shoulders, holding tight and lolling his head to the side to allow Derek to nestle against his shoulder. There's a familiar, warm clench in his chest at his words, and the younger agent lets out a pleased sigh, smile curling onto his face warm and genuine. He's beaten and bruised, but Stiles almost lost Derek, and he'd take that over gone for good any day. ]

You too, big guy.

No? [ Squeezing his arms around him gently, he rumbles out a faint chuckle in response to that ever familiar snicker. It's not hard to sit and hold him and think about how everything shifted. How it could just be a permanent and official thing. What gets him is that it's not like it already isn't real-- it's been real for months now, it just wouldn't be forged papers and questions about rings or anything-- but more that he can actually say the words for himself. Nothing assumed, no fake stories about engagement or anything.

Something for later.

Following the roll of Stiles' head, he nuzzles against the base of his neck with his nose. Almost immediately after, though, he presses a kiss to pale, warm skin, content in the familiarity of it. Honestly, words can't quite describe what it's like to have this back, the jackrabbit thrum of Stiles' heartbeat and how that warmth just rolls off him. Mouth moving a little higher, he tracks his way along the moles that lead to the trio beneath his ear. ]

Ask me again in six months. [ That was a little ballsier than he was expecting, but Stiles is going to keep his courage, dammit, and he grins a little when he can feel Derek's mouth pressing near the moles on his cheek. It's something he's been acutely aware of since he was a little kid, where each one of his spots are, something that's strange and kind of embarrassing in a good way at the same time when Derek traces them, especially like this. It's a little special, and he lifts a hand to find purchase in his hair, rolling his hips down again, once, nice and slow.

The pressure's enough to make him shiver, and it feels like for a second that the temperature in the room doubled; with the hand in Derek's hair, he pulls him over for another kiss, long and languid and slow.

Stiles isn't that great with romantics, the dewy eyed goop that Scott could spout about Allison for hours and hours upon end, but he knows one thing about this relationship--knows that it might have started as fake, but he'd not intended on keeping it that way within a few months. That he loved Derek, and Derek loved him, and really, was there anything he needed more than that? ]

I'll keep that in mind. [ His mouth pulls into a wide smile against Stiles' cheek, and Derek knows exactly what he's going to do once they've had this moment. In the morning, maybe, when Stiles is world bleary and his hair is plastered to the side of his head. For now, though, his focus is on the warmth Stiles brings and the friction he rolls between them, the fingers in his hair anchoring. An almost throaty sigh leaves him as he bristles, bringing his hips up automatically to meet him.

But with the slow, easy kiss, he shifts and tips them over. Not enough to completely roll Stiles onto his back, but enough to curl over his body, leaning into the kiss.

There's no denying that love grew with them, the potential planted right from the start. Even if they don't show it conventionally, or like the picture perfect couples-- Scott and Allison, he will grudgingly concede-- it's there. And it says something when Derek can admit to it, can return the words just for Stiles to hear when he sincerely means it, because he hasn't loved another person since he lost his older sister, since he lost his entire family in flames. But Stiles found his way into the cracks, and mended them. ]

Counting on that memory of yours. [ Jeez, he can feel Derek smiling, something he doesn't get to see too often--something he earned, that went from being fake to real ones, quiet and shy instead of charming and all teeth. It clenches something in his chest, and as Derek rolls his hips forward, it shatters like being hit with a pool cue, curling his toes and sending a jolt of a spark practically to his fingertips.

As Derek curls over him, he tightens his fingers, just a little, kissing him back hungrily and shifting his hips forward again, the best he can from this angle. There's something way different about this than the mission had been--what it had evolved into where they'd been before his brush with death. Just the two of them living in Derek's apartment, with a dog, doing stupid domestic things--bickering in the grocery store and curling up on the couch with netflix at night, Stiles sitting at the table and leading missions from Derek's house with Derek's dog under his feet, getting kissed midway through an audio transmission with Scott. He'd fallen in love by the time the fake marriage had ended, and stayed that way when he finally got out of the bachelor pad and started getting used to waking up with Derek making breakfast in the morning again.

His hands curl across his shoulders again, dropping down and running long fingers across his back, slowly but surely. ]

Good. [ The fact it's so easy to curl in together like this-- to curl together at all, whether it's on the couch for movies or in bed when exhaustion finally hits two people prone to bouts of insomnia-- is such a testament to how far they've come. When everything was fake, it was one thing that he didn't have any interest in at all, though he managed to fake their closeness at the start. It was just another job, another mission, and they would get through it and move on.

But it was a self-fulfilling prophecy of its own. They pretended to feel, and it had only become a reality.

To think, he could've lost all of this because of a slipup that had snowballed on a mission. Stiles' voice had been the last thing that he'd heard before the radio had finally shorted out. If it had to end there, then he would've maybe been all right with it if it weren't for the fact Stiles had been yelling for him to get up again, and he'd had the weight of a velvet box in his pocket.

Tipping them the rest of the way, he presses Stiles into the bed, rolling his hips forward into his and using the position against the sheets to his advantage as he kisses him deeply, almost needily. Like a drowning man needs air. ]

[ Making a soft noise into the kiss, Stiles follows after him easily, returning it with every bit of fervor that he can manage. He can practically feel the weight behind this, the tangibility of loss and worry and necessity coming together all at once, and it makes his arms tighten around Derek, finding purchase against him and letting Derek roll them together. He was going to say something, but instead he sighs out Derek's name against his mouth, small and pleased as something in him just settles.

All the anxiety and stress from the last month was just pouring away, with the searing heat of Derek's fingers against him, the line of their bodies pressed close together, something that had been a natural fit for ages now. It's home, him and his not really a spouse but still kind of close to being a spouse, spending time together for the first time after what practically amounted to reincarnation.

It doesn't make him stop being cheeky though, and when his hands slide down Derek's back as they rock into the particularly right angle, he gets a handful of his butt, squeezing. ]

[ Stiles breathing out his name causes something to unclench in his chest, worry and longing fading away as he curls into him. Derek thought he knew what loving somebody would mean, back when he was young and stupid. But now, he has this, has Stiles, and he's fairly certain that he's finally gotten it figured out. This something between them is more than he ever bargained for, coming into this mission. But he left with it, and it's something he could've lost.

Murmuring Stiles' name out in response, pressed between their mouths, he tries not to linger too heavily on everything that they could've lost if that mission had failed. If he hadn't been able to save Stiles from Kate's clutches. For the longest time, he hadn't had a home. Hadn't had a place to belong.

Stiles had changed that.

Rather than seeming bothered by Stiles being a cheeky little shit, he flexes all the way from his shoulders down to his butt beneath his touch, back rolling into an arch that brings his hips them into Stiles' again smoothly. ]

[ Stiles' mouth breaks into a crescent of a grin against Derek's mouth and gives a squeeze, and-- ] Fonda got a motor in the back of her Honda.

[ But just to be sure that he's not going to get up, Stiles gives another squeeze and rolls his hips up in time with Derek's, almost immediately latching onto him to keep him from running off, because Derek tends to do that when he's done with Stiles' general state of being.

Which is like ninety percent of the time, so he has to be prepared.

It makes him laugh anyway, and Stiles at least uses his leverage on his butt to tug his hips down again, turning his wide grin to the side of Derek's face, teeth finding his earlobe and giving a tug. ]

[ The grin means nothing good, and Derek groans for two completely different reasons as he grinds his hips down against Stiles', even as a smaller grin-- all affection-- breaks across his face. ] That's it, I want a divorce.

[ Still, he runs his hands down his quartermaster's sides, calloused touch pressing just shy of leaving marks behind. But when they reach his hips, he starts applying a little more pressure, until he can hike Stiles up a little more instead of trying to escape.

Yeah, he tends to try and get up so he can leave Stiles (who often cackles like a hyena) whenever he gets tired of his general state of being, but...

Well. He missed this. Every aspect of it, including stupid jokes along with that brush of teeth. ]

Can't divorce me if you didn't put a rin--[ He abruptly gets cut off when Derek hikes his hips up, and his legs fold around Derek's waste, and suddenly that brush of skin on skin is so intense it makes him see stars. Stiles chokes out a "jesus christ" and slides his hands up into his hair, pulling him back in for a hungry, languid kiss, trying to take the sounds he could get Derek to make and swallow them down. His hips shift a little against him again, catching the friction again, and a stuttered out moan falls out of his mouth.

Yeah okay. Coherency. How do you do that again. ] Put a ring on it. G-God.

[ Stiles' reactions have always been among some of Derek's favorite things, but it's in moments like these that he strives to get each and every single one he possibly can. They're like encouragement, rushing chills down his spine and heat pooling in his gut each time. It's so easy to return that kiss, even as a low moan presses into it, bringing a hand around from where he's holding his hips to curl against his jaw, hunger and aching conveyed in a single piece of contact between them.

But then he pulls back a little, reaching and taking his left hand, fingers folding over his so he can bring it up to his mouth. Eyes dark, in the moment and from the room, he looks at Stiles as he presses his lips quite intentionally over where a ring would sit, in the same moment he shifts his hips forward again. ]


	Let the sky fall When it crumbles We will stand tall Face it all together

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